16/12- #IndiaWithPakistan

Dear Apa,

It always extends to be a long era since I catch up here and I apologize, I do confess that I am sometimes really bad at keeping my life at a balance. You will be surprised to know that I'm no more in Lahore while writing this post but back in my home. Our University had to announce Winter Holidays before our finals that were to happen due to prevailing security threats in the country and to the educational institutions and I had to catch up the flight of next day to return home. These past days have been quite unexpected days of my life. 16/12 proved to 9/11 for Pakistan and sighs, sighs, we cannot even properly get out of it. Probably, we never ever will be the same after Peshawar Massacre. It snatched the soul out of our bodies. We always saw flowers on the dead bodies, never did we see the dead bodies of flowers. Flowers so innocent, so delicate, so unique. Unique in their stories and their fragrance. I've been writing and writing but the first instance when I read the news, I stood still in a shock with no words. Silence prevailed. I swear, it actually happened. I cannot imagine what happened, what those parents went through, I cannot imagine. It's like dying but not being able to die. The worst of wounds anyone could inflict upon us.

I didn't know how I felt. I was so angry and so frustrated at the same time. I cried. And I was so hurt. I didn't know what to do of this slow bursting in tears and tapping my pen into something, I opened it up and wrote something. I pushed myself to write something, and all the words that I could actually pile up on that paper were these to which I titled as 'Apne bikhre khayalat ka bikhra izhaar':

Likh likh k thak gaye hain sab,
Parne lagi hai madam kalam ki roshnai,
Lahoo ka jism se hai rishta aisaa,
Lekin aik nayaa itihaaz rachne laga hai ye dekho kesaa,
Bagair bhi jee lete hain hamare watan k ye anokhe sipaayi,
Junoon ka aik naya silsilaa kharaa honey laga dekho kesa,
Ye aansoon ki kataaren, ye Qabron ki kami,
Itni mehngi ye matti, aur itna sasta ye khoon
Kis tarah sameten, kis kis ko sambhalen,
Hum sab hee dhoob rahe hain inn aansoon k jharan main,
Itne masoomon ki cheekhein, itne asaatzaa ki dars o tadrees,
Unn ki aankhon main mazloomiyat phir bhi gharon main toofan bhara
Yahan tau sab hee dete hain jaanon ka nazrana
Kese bhool paayen ge hum unn phoolon ki muskaratein,
Dekho thakte nahn wo hevaan bhujaate bhujaate
Kitne diye bhujaayegen?
Hum din main sooraj ki roshni hain,
Hum raat ko jugnoo ka halkaa hain,
Iss mulk k saaye taaley, hum marr mitne ko zinda hain
Kesi jang hai ye, kesa waqt hai
Lahoo k khel ko banaa dia hai khidmat e insaaniyat
Aey watan, pyaare watan, tu hai aur hum hain,
Hai kesi ye uljhan, hai kesa ye zulm, hai kesi ye jhaariyat
Hum sab kitne bikhre hain aaj, phir bhi saath hain,
Hum aik hain, hum aik hain aaj

After completing it, I wanted to write and never stop. But, I'd to go attend the vigil in university. Every eye was wet, every face was sad. Pakistan couldn't still digest what just happened to it. But, when I came online I saw, Kirthi Apa sending this voice note which told us about this trend #IndiaWithPakistan and I saw quite large number of Indians coming out in support of Pakistan in this tragedy and through this post, I also want to Thank you India for their support and love. It felt more than just good. It touched us. Quite honestly, this project has taught me a lot about peace. It has taught me what I'm to me and what others are to me and what peace is to us. It has made me realize what I wanted to do in my life. I confess, hereby, that this project instilled me this passion for activism in every aspect and because of it, after this incident I took one of the quite small yet independent decisions of my life. It was to go on a walk of silent protest with my University without calling home and telling them that I was going. Why did I do this? It wasn't that I didn't bother about them, It wasn't either because my Parents wouldn't let me go out after this incident, it was because I knew that my Parents would support me in this and guess what? They were proud after hearing this.
Apa, that day I cried a lot like everyone else and I couldn't sleep for days. One of the reasons to it was that all the lives that were lost, I saw them as my brothers. I have two brothers who study in an army boarding school, what more could tear me apart when I saw this happening. God forbidden, it could happen to anyone. All those faces were not unknown to me, I felt they being very close to me. I felt they being my part because we are Pakistan and I'm them, they were me, we all are one. My point here to make is that we are all trained for this, we all know what could happen to us, my Dad still after this incident didn't mind me coming home on a coach.

What makes me even more sad these days is this helplessness. I regret coming back home, I wish I could go to Peshawar. I long to meet those all whose sons, daughters, relatives gave blood for this nation. Peace, I wish I can go and take a message of peace to soothe their pain, that I never can. These wounds are so deep and fresh. Let them remain this way because they will keep instilling in us this passion to do something, to play our part in peace, to play our part in this war. This life seems a debt which I never can pay back but at least, I can try.
And my rest of the life, I shall use for this purpose. I shall live for it. I shall die for it. Peace is my message. Peace is for Pakistan. Peace is for India. We all need Peace and not war. 

Give peace a chance, pretty please, pretty please!

Love
Sehr

Family, Education and Religion: An Interface to counter Gender Based Violence

Since issues of gender based violence, discrimination and ill-treatment are plaguing both India and Pakistan, it is relevant here to share my entry for "Go Beyond the Armchair", an initiative by The Red Elephant Foundation in Chennai. The idea was to bring people to go beyond 'liking and sharing' on Facebook and suggest ideas for concrete action, develop strategies and responses to counter gender-based violence that is rampant in our societies. Here is my idea for which I won the second prize :) The spirit behind this idea is to leave the chair of comfort that we occupy and plunge into the real world to offer real solutions.

Family, Education and Religion: An Interface to counter Gender Based Violence

Increased incidences of gender based violence have initiated debate over ways to counter it. However, most ideas that emerge are idealistic and call for a drastic change in the social order. This may not be feasible considering the fact that societies over the world are deeply entrenched in patriarchal attitudes and short term solutions to this cannot solve the problems that we encounter today in the form of violence, brutality, gender stereotyping and gender mainstreaming. Any change that can claim to be sustainable has to come from within. It has to be rooted so strongly that generations after generations imbibe it and practice it.

It is in this view that I suggest an interface between family, education and religion in order to tackle what can be termed as the marginalization of one important section of society – i.e. women. Attitudes towards gender are shaped by culture and religion, both of which play a dominant role in socialization. Family and Education are important sites of socialization since they shape and individual right from his/her childhood and have a long lasting impact on the kind of citizens a society produces. Any strategy to address gender based violence cannot be successful if it operates in isolation. Because this is not a problem alone of any one sphere of society. It is a result of the interactions between these spheres and their influence on each other. A sustainable strategy to address concerns raised by gender inequality and gender discrimination of any form should involve three major actors that play an important role in the life of an individual – namely family, education and religion.

Religion ought to be employed as a tool to develop sensitivity about human life and devotion to serving the society. Socializing an individual into a particular religion takes place in the family and it is here that the family can act as a site for inculcating positive religious learnings which teach children the importance of human values. Religion is a crucial part of our upbringing, which can rarely be avoided by people. Instead of being overwhelmed by one’s religion, family should encourage children to practice religion with human values. The emphasis of humanity through religion can then be taken to the school, which is the second home for a child. An inter-faith atmosphere where the child has the opportunity to learn about different cultures and develop a sense of respect for them will be the second step of this interface. Education can then work as a tool to shatter stereotypes and prejudices that the child may have learnt from his surroundings. Both family and education then do not shun religion/culture but use them in a very constructive way in order to address larger human concerns. The result would be people who are socially sensitive and recognize the need to move beyond established norms and rituals. Such a population will not be bogged down by dogma, ritualistic concerns or societal pressures but would strive to make this world if not an equal but a more humane place to live in.

Gender based violence as an issue affects all societies the world over. Primarily, it is not just a 'women's' problem since men can too be victims of gender based violence. A wonderful campaign initiated by The United Nations 'HeforShe' says it all. Gender based violence could be seen from the prism of structural violence since its roots lie deeper into cultural and religious forces that govern our life. To address such a deep-rooted problem, women cannot be the only stakeholders. Others and their participation is significant too. These can be identified as - men, civil society, media, state etc. An interface between family, religion and education, all three of which lie at the heart of a community can be evolved to address this issue in an innovative way. We need to strike gender based violence at its roots and eliminate it from where it begins to operate. This cannot be achieved without the help and involvement of the community since any examination of gender based violence only through the prism of an individual is flawed. Any change that can claim to be sustainable has to come from within. It has to be rooted so strongly that generations after generations imbibe it and practice it. If we leave out the community from under the purview of gender based violence and solutions related to it, then we are only talking of a solution restricted to the 'armchair'. We need to go beyond the armchair and undertake concrete action to address this pressing issue. The best way to actively involve the community in this is to develop linkages between religion, education and family in a constructive way in order to give an impetus to community practices that are not bogged down by dogma, ritualistic concerns or societal pressures. The community thus can be made the biggest stakeholder in dealing with this issue, without whose involvement I see little success for isolated efforts to effectively deal with gender based violence and do justice to those whose lives it has destroyed - both men and women.

I want my stories to remain with my readers for a long time

“I want my stories to remain with my readers for a long time”, says Heena Jadav Sunil; a Karachi based Pakistani author who has just published her debut novel by the title of Equinox. In conversation with Nidhi Shendurnikar-Tere, she speaks her heart out on life in both India & Pakistan; her love for writing ‘fantasy romance’ and the individual transformation that she seeks through it.

Heena ji, your journey spans from India to Pakistan. Tell us something about this journey, your life in India then and now in Pakistan. How does it feel having lived in two countries that have been engaged in conflict since long?

My life in India was very adventurous; I went to an ‘all girls’ convent school. I was into lots of sports like skating, horse-riding, cycling, dancing (classical, garba), singing, harmonium classes, stage dramas, annual tours, learned how to ride a bike … you name it and I did it as a typical teenager. Here, in Pakistan I have my own family which keeps me busy. I feel my heart being conked out into two parts; I cannot belong to any one of these nations, I cannot claim my place anywhere. Whenever there is a cricket match between the two, I wear yellow. On every 14^th and 15^th August I sing “God save the queen ...”

What motivated you to take to fiction writing? How does the trio of fiction, fantasy and romance find space in your writings?

Fantasy romance is my absolute favourite genre; I love reading books under this category. And now, I just find it amazing to create illusions for my readers, tinkle them with a unique buzz and bring the unimaginable romance to reality. The thrill of developing scenes with spookiness, wantonly exhibiting the physicality and connection between two characters and taking it to an extreme edge combined with creating characters with incredible yet believable powers is in itself an inspiration, a drive. I want my stories to remain with my readers for a long time, even after they’ve put the book away.

Is fiction writing popular in Pakistan? How do you view yourself among the many Pakistani authors who choose to write about the realities of Pakistan’s society, culture and politics instead of delving into fiction?

Actually, No! I didn’t know about this earlier but when I wrote ‘Equinox’ (my debut novel) one of my friends pointed this out, informing me that I happen to be the first Pakistani (living in Pakistan) author to acknowledge the fantasy fiction genre in my writing. I view myself as a helmsman, slowly steering the masses to ‘writing’ rather than ‘ranting’, which has a completely different vibe to it. Hitting ‘publish’ (worldwide) for my book ‘Equinox’ (a young adult fantasy romance) has been a small step taken by me. Becoming a trendsetter is an amazing feeling!

What does your writing convey? Is it a medium for social and individual transformation?

Social transformation carries a very deep meaning to it. I didn’t know I was conveying any message through my writing when I started writing ‘Equinox’. I began writing because I love it. I wrote to entertain and provide a kind of thrill to my readers. I write because I want people to read about my characters, and fall in love with them the way I have. But, when I started writing short stories to free myself from the writer’s block, I realized they do sometimes carry a strong message, however, that is not intentional.  I don’t focus on the message and then script a story, the message involuntarily presents itself. I find my balance, tranquility, happiness and peace in no other as much I do in writing. Can that be called ‘individual transformation’, I’m not sure!

What sort of issues do your writings deal with?

You have hit home with that question. I’m too blatant in approach; I don’t hold back anything in my writing and that most of the times triggers extreme behaviour from some. Other than that, being a mother, the only woman in the house, taking care of two and a half men & working full time drains me out completely which affects my writing immensely. But, mostly I try to shut down the world around me. Close everything; be immersed in my writing world.

Your debut novel ‘Equinox’ is quite popular on social media. Readers would like to know more about it.

The Equinox journey was overwhelming! ‘Equinox’ is still not acceptable by so called traditional publishers in Pakistan. It has some snippets of adult content, so that was a major matter of worry for me, but thanks to my friends who believed in my work and encouraged me to get it published. Thanks to the ‘sisterhood of Sophians’ across the globe that I was able to make it as a published international author. I met Ami Gandhi Sharma in my school’s Facebook group and when she learnt that I had written a book and was going through some hard times in getting it published in Pakistan, she very easily stepped in as a fairy godmother along with Avani Gautam (also from Sophia), Hitesh Budhappati and Tasneem Sara (author of One night stand) and made my dream come true.  Rest is history. Equinox was an educative experience for me.

Your take on the present scenario of fiction writing in Pakistan? How do you envision its future?

Fiction writing is not much popular in Pakistan. Let me also say that English Fiction writing in Pakistan is mostly underground-not exhibited to the masses, simply, because the world doesn't want to read stories on fantasy, romance, or a chick flick written by Pakistani authors. I fear we have been stereotyped, hence, I don’t see much happening at present. I have tried my bit though. So waiting to see how it works out in the long run.

Your upcoming writing projects.

Presently I’m working on multiple projects which are in the pipeline and each one is absolutely unique. One of them is ‘Thunder and Lightning’, which is a work of fiction and an adult read. The sequel of Equinox series, ‘Explosion’ is also due to be released by mid next year. I’m also re-releasing a revised version of Equinox hopefully by the end of this year. Meanwhile, I have written two short stories as well, one is ‘Stay awake for me’. This story was also published earlier this year in eFiction India’s magazine under the title ‘A night to remember’. The other short story is called ‘Invasion’ that majorly focuses on issues such as child marriage, religious extremism, intolerance and violence against women – all concurrent issues that the world is concerned about.

What are your dreams for Pakistan? Do you see it as a multicultural, diverse and secular state in the future?

Pakistan started as a multicultural state (that is the reason why our grandparents stayed here after partition in 1947) but unfortunately the religious extremism in some has ruined it. The youth of Pakistan are very much liberal in their approach and I do see it becoming more diverse and multicultural ... although, it is a long journey as yet.

Check out Heena Jadav Sunil’s Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/heenajadavsunill?ref=br_tf

How Zee Zindagi is connecting lives across borders through popular culture

Zee Zindagi showcases popular Pakistani dramas, a soothing and refreshing attempt to show Indian viewers a slice of Pakistani life and culture.
Zee Television’s newly launched channel – Zee Zindagi which goes by the tagline of “Jodey Dilon Ko” (connecting hearts) – has been received with warmth and excitement by Indian audiences. The channel showcases Pakistani dramas for which there is a huge and untapped audience demand in India.

Strained relations between the two neighbours had resulted into restrictions on the exchange of media such as books, newspapers, broadcast channels, films, music videos, folk art, and theatre. Despite this, Bollywood movies and Hindi films actors remain hugely popular in Pakistan, while Pakistani artists have frequently crossed the border to work in the Indian entertainment industry. Popular culture whose role in shaping perceptions is quite significant has cultivated stereotypes while depicting the ‘other’. In such a scenario, Zee Zindagi is a novel venture and a bold initiative by a mainstream media channel to offer to Indians a slice of Pakistan’s life and culture. It also brings in an amount of freshness and innovation to Indian television content.

A few years ago, with stumbling blocks in Indo-Pak relations it was difficult to imagine such an exchange in the mainstream media. Majority of Indians who tend to believe that all Pakistanis are backward, treat their women shabbily and possess a parochial outlook will now be exposed to the realities of life in Pakistan.

The channel is aptly titled “Zindagi” since popular culture is actually supposed to be a reflection of people’s lives, their trials and tribulations, aspirations, and desires. It is gradually emerging as a medium that can connect two sets of people – a majority of whom have not met each other, or have met each other with much difficulty, have not been able to visit places in the ‘other’ country, or have not had chances to interact with people who live ‘normal’ lives across the border. Hence, the ‘other’ is visualised as someone alien or unfamiliar.

A student of the Lahore University of Management Sciences, Sehr Nisar believes that the broadcast of Pakistani dramas on Zee Zindagi offers a new ray of hope to peace talks between the two countries. She feels that this is the best medium to let Indians know Pakistani culture and way of life, thereby breaking stereotypes and bringing a kind of positive energy to the troubled relationship. With storylines that are so refreshing, plots so simple and closer to life, characters so believable and portrayals so charming – that you cannot help but admire the way simple stories are narrated with conviction. Be it the story of ambitious yet simple Kashaf (Sanam Saeed) in Zindagi Gulzar Hai, or the story of bubbly Zara (Maya Ali) in Aunn Zara, or the engaging and socially sensitiveKash Main Teri Beti Na Hoti.

A still from Aunn Zara
Pic – Wikimedia Commons

Popular culture can work as a powerful force for peace and change since it offers simple life stories—those that can act as bonds between conflicting populations. In many conflict zones across the world, there have been examples of positive roles of popular culture in stimulating change and humanizing enemy images. Letting people see what kind of lives the ‘other’ leads is a good way of shedding stereotypes, and a part and parcel of peace initiatives that must be encouraged between governments.

Qurat Ul Ain Ansari, a young entrepreneur from Lahore opines, “I wonder why it took so long, when we here in Pakistan have been enjoying Indian dramas, movies, and award functions since many years. More and more Pakistani shows, songs, movies and dramas should be promoted in India as it will lessen the distances between us and develop a feeling of apna-pan“. Pakistani dramas are meaningful and depict the struggles of ordinary Pakistanis, their life values, cultural ethos and offer life lessons that have been so beautifully put up to let the viewer feel at home with the characters and their life stories.

Chintan Girish Modi, founder of Friendships Across Borders: Aao Dosti Karein believes, “These TV shows will play a very positive role in changing attitudes that Indians hold towards Pakistanis. Viewers will get to see a whole range of characters, and that will make a difference. The assumption that all Pakistani women are Muslim, burqa-clad, and oppressed needs to change.” His personal favourites are Kashaf and Rafia from Zindagi Gulzar Hai – both quite different from each other but strong, resolute, hardworking, and self-respecting women.

For long, popular culture in India and Pakistan has served as medium for strengthening bitterness and perpetuating stereotypes. Now, however, popular culture can take a lead in smoothening of ties by holding aloft the mantle of peace. People on both sides who fear change and are unsupportive of peaceful relations resist cultural exchanges. Such groups in Pakistan have often demanded a ban to be imposed on Hindi movies and TV soaps, for they believe this will pollute Pakistani culture and adversely impact the youth of the country.

Title credits from Zindagi Gulzar Hai
Pic – Wikimedia Commons

Similar elements in India have expressed strong dislike for Pakistani artists who come and perform in the country. As a matter of fact, any scenario of hostile relations has had immediate effects on cultural and sporting exchanges. Devika Mittal, Convener (India), Aaghaz-e-Dosti  - a peace and friendship initiative between India and Pakistan says, “One of the strongest forces that sustains conflict is a lack of communication and a lot of miscommunication. The serials that are being shown on Zindagi are breaking these stereotypes by highlighting similarities in terms of language, culture, customs, thinking and even in our problems.”

While these dramas could anyway be accessed on the internet, bringing them to Indian audiences via television is a major step that could propel peace between the two nations. One cannot help but notice glaring differences between Pakistani and Indian TV soaps, the latter stretching beyond audience imagination to insipid story lines of scheming and heavily decked up women busy in kitchen politics. Some friends have appreciated the elegance and realistic portrayals of Pakistani shows, far removed from the superficialities involved in daily doses of Indian Television.

Kiran Bhatia, a student at The M.S.University in Baroda strongly believes that integration of peace concepts in popular culture can change thinking pattern of masses. “Pakistani Dramas on Indian television will help people in India get a glimpse of the commoners in Pakistan. Familiarity with and exposure to Pakistani lifestyle and thought processes will make the peace process between the two countries citizen centric and thus more effective as change will be generated at the grassroots level,” she says.

Real peace can be achieved and sustained not when it is imposed through mechanisms of power but by people working for it themselves. Zindagi is a great first step in that direction. Muhammad Uzair Niazi, a student from Mianwali in Pakistan deems culture to be the soft power of any nation and advocates mainstreaming of cultural activities on both sides through which coming generations can be made more peaceful and friendly.

A still from Aunn Zara
Pic – Zee Zindagi | Facebook

This attempt by Zee Zindagi to bring Pakistan to the doorsteps of Indian viewers is sure to be lauded and go down in history as a positive and constructive exercise in engaging people of India and Pakistan. “South Asian culture does have great synergies with Indian culture…and these serials help make the other seem very like us. For those of us not lucky enough to meet people from other countries, the insight through these serials is a good beginning,” is what Raakhee Suryaprakash, an international relations analyst based out of Chennai thinks.

As we relish the cross border cultural fare that Zindagi brings to us, we – as Indians and Pakistanis must remember that while we may not be totally similar, we are not completely different as well. And this is what popular culture ought to celebrate to usher in peace and change.

Published on The Alternative, July 17

http://www.thealternative.in/society/how-zee-zindagi-is-connecting-lives-across-borders-through-popular-culture/

International Peace Day- 21st September 2014

Some think that the celebration of International Peace Day on 21st September every year is an exercise in futility. Who cares for peace when there is war and conflict all around? When there is no hope for peace, why celebrate such a day and give false hopes to the millions suffering as a result of conflict? We are eternal dreamers and that is why we believe that 21st September brings hope for the world. True that peace requires a longer and sustained commitment and dedicating a day to peace may not make much of difference. But we are here to do our bit for the cause of peace. On this day, we hope that the entire globe atleast makes an attempt to forget their differences and move ahead on the path of reconciliation and trust building. Can we not do this atleast for a day? Can we not promise Mother Earth for a day that we will not kill/harm/each other and instead pledge our lives to her harmony and protection? It should not be that difficult to do it for a day? Peace is a long, arduous journey and a single day may not make much difference to it, cynics will say. But we say that this single day will be a beginning to sowing the seeds of peace in the minds and hearts of young people. This day will let people see each other as 'friends', 'brothers', 'sisters', as people and not as 'enemies'. That is why 21st September is important and we continue to reinstate our faith in peace on this day and every day that comes.

Is there anything like an Ideal Peace Process? Yes and No both because a peace process should be having some essential components and at the same time these may vary over time and circumstances. Here we present a sketches that we believe encompasses our ideas of an "ideal peace process", if anything like that can exist. 1. Trust - Peace process can never take forward without trust, it will lose its way without trust which is like the foundation stone for a peace process. 2. Friendship/People - What could peace be without people? Peace is people and people are peace. 3. Civil Society/Media - Stakeholders with a larger responsibility to guide people and distinguish truth from propaganda 4. State/Government - political will and engagement at the highest level of leadership 5. No to arms/weapons/violence - Multiple stakeholders in this can create public pressure for the leadership to abstain from multiplying hate 6. A South Asian Confederation - Any peace process between India and Pakistan will not succeed if a broader South Asian vision for peace, harmony and cooperation is not its part.

Sehr & Nidhi - Dreamers for India-Pakistan Peace

Thinking as South Asians

Over the course of this project, during our conversations and while writing on our blog both myself and Sehr have been engaged in discussions about India and Pakistan. We have mulled over many aspects related to both countries, their conflict, their friendship and the future course of relations between them. It is in this process (which will shortly complete six glorious months!) that we have discovered each other. We always felt we knew more than enough about the 'other'. But what a revealing journey this has been. On this path, we have endeared upto each other, have shed our presumptions and with an open mind embraced the 'other'. We look forward to the next half of this journey. 

At this point I strongly feel that we need to venture beyond our national identities and talk about something that is more important. Of course, our identities as either Indians or Pakistanis do play a very important role in our lives. But this is not the end of why we are here together. We have met for a larger purpose. I have always wondered what is that is so common among us, what is that which drive us towards a prosperous and happier future? Should we be contained thinking that we have known the 'other' quite well now and that our job has come to and end? The answer to these questions was discovered when I started thinking of myself as a South Asian. I have many identities that have become an inseparable part of my life. However, the identity that I think about the least is my being a South Asian. Why cannot we think of ourselves as citizens of a sub-continent with such a glorious and rich past, heritage and social fabric. Why should we limit ourselves to being Indians or Pakistanis? After all, we share another interesting common identity. We belong to South Asia and we should be proud of this fact. However, how many of us would like to think of themselves as South Asians first and nationals of their country later? Despite the fact that we wax eloquent about our shared heritage, culture, language and identity ... somehow we have forgotten that we belong to the land of South Asia and it is the South Asian identity that strongly binds us together. Me and Sehr now wish to undertake and adopt this very neglected identity. We are South Asians who are committed to the larger cause of peace and development not only for India and Pakistan, but for the whole of South Asia. We ought not forget that as the two largest, most powerful nations in South Asia, both India and Pakistan have to be responsible towards humanity in this sub-continent. We cannot at this juncture afford to remain confined to our national identities and think only in terms of what is the best for our country. The time has come to expand our visions and ponder about what we can do for our neighbourhood.

South Asian Unity

As a citizen of South Asia's largest and most powerful country, I believe that more can be done on part of India in order to develop a vision for our region. India as a resource-rich and powerful nation can become the centre-point for South Asia's progress story. India has the resources and the capacity to spearhead South Asia towards the path of progress. Why then the reluctance to setting out on this path? It is because we have become so used to our identities as Indians that we are unable to venture beyond our very limited nationalist spheres. I do not visualize India as a 'bully' or a 'hegemonic power' in the sub-continent but as an elder brother who feels responsible towards his younger siblings. We see Indians making their mark in every field of life, we also see a dissolution of identities when Indians, Pakistanis, Bangladeshis, Sri Lankans, Nepalis meet in far off lands. Our nationalistic orientations should not stop us from thinking about ourselves as citizens of South Asia. As good citizens, we definitely ought to contribute to the progress charts of our country. But it is time that we venture beyond and think in broader terms. India, I believe can do wonders for South Asia - and this is not just strategically or politically but more importantly in terms of economy, education, environment, culture etc. India should not strive to be a leader in South Asia, only capitalizing on its political and military power. It must rather think about how through its own development it can contribute to the flourishing of its neighbours. A prosperous and developed India can contribute to a stronger South Asia. It is indeed the need of the hour. When Europe can do it, so can we. Let us for a moment sit back and think as South Asians. Let us take South Asia to the heights of prosperity and develop it as a model region in the world.  The time is ripe that we forget our bickerings and come together as South Asians.  

Nidhi Shendurnikar 

While the world is looking down to Pakistan in a time I consider as one of the most sensitive ones, I think it has given rise to millions of questions on the credibility of institutions, democratic system and overall it's reflection as deteriorating reputation to the world. Meanwhile, Pak-India relations now have also turned out to capture the media attention. The skirmishes on border of Sialkot have raised many eyebrows and questions too obviously. However, we need to take a turn and take a broader perspective on the importance of Pakistan's contribution to South Asia as a whole. Pakistan holds an important strategic position in South Asia due to its location and due to it being the only Islamic Nuclear country in the world. We are in a position where we as a country seem to be trying to deal with internal challenges since 67 years of Independence. In 1971, East Pakistan and West Pakistan separated which produced more challenges to its state. If we generally take a look at Pakistan, India and Bangladesh, all of them faced challenges. What India faced after independence was a rule of a certain party for many years and this year, many might agree that they got free of 'Khaandani' hukumat. However, what Pakistan faced after independence was dictatorship. Years and years passed facing, tolerating and struggling for democracy and in 2013, first proper democratic system was handed over to other elected government. After a year, protests have started against the violation of merit system, against the massive rigging that Government is accused of in 2013 Elections and against the politics of 'Samdhi, beta, behn, bateeja'. Pakistan which had started a journey of economic development and peace relations with India as well as other countries in South Asia, seems to have been flooded away by the corruption and unjust system, as many say. Technically, we are in a position of war. Operation Zarb-e-Azb is undergoing and due to current political instabilities all the attention is diverted. Many fear bloodshed to end this dilemma, and others doubt martial law as well, although, its probability is low. The relations with India, in such state, are beginning to destabilize as well.

All of us together make South Asia 

Taking a broader vision, I want to see Pakistan soon to be out of it without any bloodshed and with negotiations on table. After we get out of this situation, I want to see it contributing to South Asia though trade and by signing many development projects. I think, we don't stand nothing as compared to European nations but we need heck of development too. After 20 years, I want to see Pakistan in a stable democratic system where justice prevails and no one sleeps hungry. However, that extends to the general South Asia as well. Taking in, Bangladesh is struggling with poverty too. Other than that, Afghanistan holds a key position in making us achieve stability within. What I deduce overall is that, without peace there is not going to be a single leap forward that contributes to prosperity of any nation. Be it peace within the nation or peace within South Asia, we all need to work out on our relations. Unity is strength and I hope that someday we travel so much forward in our peace agendas that we don't have issues like travel visas. I hope of the day when border skirmishes between Pakistan-India are almost zero, where we invite each other on borders and not kill. I dream of the day when we give education the power to decide our futures and not guns. And while I dream and hope all of it, I take this responsibility of being a individual who works on her own self to attain the most I could for the betterment of my Pakistan and for the betterment of South Asia. We all shall overcome hugely, someday!

Sehr Nisar 

Dosti aur Azaadi!

Dear Nidhi Apa,

If I say simple words like 'Thank you so much Apa', it won't even be enough to express my gratefulness to you. It's been a long time that I have not fully expressed my views on this blog the way you have, but all the conversations and voice notes are so imprinted in my heart that I can almost tell it like a story tale to anyone. It was extremely essential to at least give a try in replying to all your lovely blog posts and your friendship story lastly, that is and are really being admired by everyone. So, this is a post dedicated to our being from peace-partners to the fast-friends. 

I believe, it was substantial for us to meet and know each other this way and it was written way before we even got birth. My Dad is a very disciplined man and he whole his life has taught me to be one, but after him if someone has inspired me to be one is you. There are hundreds of reasons as to why we had to meet and probably, this to me is one of the very important reasons as well. All these months, one of my extraordinary observations was that you are a very dedicated person. A friend, who has changed my life to a greater extent and I merely am not saying it, your inspiration keeps moving with me in this life like a glacier melting and flowing into water. The way you took this project from the beginning up til now, I believe no one could do it. Your enthusiasm regarding this project has moved me very much which ultimately has led me to see all the dreams from your golden perspective and to hope like the way you do, from the core of your heart. 

We make this world complete! 

India and Pakistan partitioned on 14th August 1947. It merely if recalled is not just the date, month or year. It contains whole of the past, present and future. Over a million of 'our' people died in this process of migration that is called as one of the biggest migrations in history. However, in this process, we as once a one nation, now became two. What changed? Life? Homes? Streets? Cities? Ancestors? Religion? Conflict? 

If someone asks this, no, nothing changed. Actually the mass displacement that aimed to end conflicts resulted in a bigger and forever conflict. The partition did not stop the blood that trickles from the chests of our beloved soldiers, it worsened. What was the point if the hatred never transformed into love? Everyone moved on, but, never forgetting and forgiving each other. And if many of us did, our governments used the blood of our beloved for their own profits and are using it till date. How unfortunate? However, what needs to be considered is that even after such extreme situations, our destinies worked as miracles. Once living in a one country (Our ancestors) , how thrilling this thought is Apa, we once again got together. I thank the God, for this miracle and for this asha.

I know today we are struggling to bring peace but the thing that brings happiness is the mere thought that at least, at least we are giving it a try. I don't know what senior analysts and politicians have to say on this, or probably I just want to ignore whatever theories they want to convey regarding our relations and it is just for the better prospects that both countries can bring, It is for the Peace that fills within me and clears the thought that Ignorance is bliss, indeed. I also know that today we are a part of this project, tomorrow we won't be but this is not it and it should never be it. Small steps make big differences. Leaving behind all the sane thoughts and technicalities as the countries' officials see, I want to confess that I indeed don't believe in measurements of each inch in these relations. The measurements of the sort that if Mr Modi takes his hand forward to this particular centimeters, Mr Sharif will also move his hand out to the same measurement. This could be the steps of diplomacy but, to me it is insane. This is the sheer reason why the friendship between us has grown quite tremendously, that we don't exercise diplomacy. We give and take love and it won't be wrong to say that after 67 years of independence we as individuals have learnt to share peace because I believe we still complete each other like the puzzle pieces that makes this picture of world clear and complete.
I am hugely grateful to you, Apa. 

Sending love

Sehr Nisar

The dawn of a special friendship

Published at Friendships Across Borders: Aao Dosti Karein - A forum that encourages and nurtures cross-border friendships.

Nidhi Shendurnikar Tere from Vadodara, India, writes about her friendship with Sehr Nisar who is from Larkana and currently studies in Lahore, Pakistan

It was in February 2014, when an email from Kirthi Jayakumar at The Red Elephant Foundation, Chennai delighted me to no end. It announced my selection to the Building Peace Project (2014-15), a yearlong peace initiative between Indians and Pakistanis dedicated to connecting young people on both sides of the border through new media. Ever since I had started working for my doctoral thesis on India-Pakistan conflict and the media’s role, I had been in touch with many people from across the border, and had experienced the warmth and generosity of cross-border friendships. However, I longed for sustained interactions with someone who could introduce me to the Pakistan I had never learnt of before. I wished to go beyond an academic and intellectual pursuit of the domain in which I was working, and experience the fruits of friendship with a person who shared my belief in peace. I was delighted when Kirthi told me that my partner in the peace project would be Sehr Nisar, and we would be engaged in the project as peacebuilders.

Since the beginning of the project, Sehr, who is a student at the Lahore University of Management Sciences (LUMS) has carved a special place in my life. There is not a single day when she is not fondly remembered. Though we have not met each other, our continued association for the project, our conversations on Facebook, and the video chatting sessions on Skype have become so integral to my life that it is difficult to conceive of anything but a mutual feeling of lifelong friendship between the two of us. Our initial interactions started off as individuals belonging to two hostile nations aiming to sow the seeds of peace. The day we formally began interacting for the project, Sehr told me that she would like to address me as ‘Apa’ (sister). I readily and happily agreed as I have often been referred to as ‘Didi’, ‘Tai’, ‘Ben’ (in other Indian languages, namely Hindi, Marathi and Gujarati) but never as ‘Apa’. I felt as if this term was coined specially for me and, ever since, I have been Sehr’s ‘Nidhi Apa’.

Sehr, whose name literally means ‘dawn’, has brought to my life a new meaning of friendship and warmth. Through our conversations, we have endlessly discussed the nature of hostile relations between our countries, the prospects for peace, our individual desires, and the different ways in which we can together contribute to building a peaceful narrative amidst hostility, conflict and animosity. Though virtually, we have begun to share our lives with each other – as a result of which, both of us have started realising that friendships are not hostage to borders. Our conversations have faced hiccups due to technological issues, time and study commitments; however, we have made it a point not to miss updating each other about our views on issues concerning both India and Pakistan. This exchange of views has shaped up into a meaningful conversation around issues related to peace and conflict, documented in our peacebuilding blog, nurtured during this period. We make it a point to address issues that are relevant, and those that can spark a debate in order to take this peace project further.

There are times when I have acutely felt the need to transform this virtual friendship into an offline one, and I wish I am able to do so one day. While celebrating festivals at home, watching Pakistani dramas on Zee Zindagi channel, and when I saw the movie ‘Filmistaan’, I wished Sehr and I could have been together, celebrating our friendship, demonstrating to the world how two people together can cross national barriers and be the best of friends. Such is the depth of our bond that anything new I encounter, anything I write, or things as simple as watching a movie, going out for dinner – I rush to send a voice note to Sehr, eager to let her know how important she has become to my life!

In our conversations on India and Pakistan, we have realised that we need not be similar for our friendship to blossom. We only need to hear each other out. It is on this principle that we have based our interactions. I always am keen to listen to what Sehr has to say about Pakistan, its beautiful landscape, her family, her university, and her inclinations for the future. I have loved and admired her marvellous artistic skills, the maturity she reflects at such young age, and the patience she demonstrates while listening to something which may be totally contradictory to her point of view.

At the same time, her keen interest in knowing about India has amazed me, and it is through her that I am actually getting to know my country better. Our chain of exchanges on issues related to education, politics, democracy, religion has made me rethink an array of complex issues. I know I can talk my heart out to Sehr, and she won’t mind even if she disagrees with what I say. She will still hear me out patiently, and address my unending queries about Pakistan.

Friends forever

She has introduced me to the historical and cultural heritage of her country – to a Pakistan I was unaware of earlier. I long to visit Larkana, her home town; at the same time, have her in Baroda where I reside. I would love to watch a Bollywood movie with her, treat her to home-made Gujarati delicacies and, at the same time, not carry the burden of being friends with a supposed ‘enemy’. It is the Building Peace Project that got us together, and it is our shared commitment to peace on which our friendship will chart its future course. As Sehr says, “I love what you love!” This, I believe, is just the beginning of an everlasting friendship, as we continue to unfold a new leaf with each passing day in our exciting peace journey.  

Two Religions ... One Message ... Peace

Dear Sehr,

I have become addicted to either writing a blogpost to you or sending you voice-notes through Whatsapp. I hope you enjoyed reading what I wrote about our friendship as part of Chintan bhai's 'Friendships Across Borders: Aao Dosti Karein' forum. I was extremely delighted when he asked me if I could contribute a piece about our friendship. I lapped it up for I didn't wish to lose a chance to tell you how special you have become in my life. Every word that was written sprang from my heart and I hope once we complete this Peace-building project, I would have much more to write about the special bond that has been created between the two of us. 

I was happy to know that you were busy with the festivities in Ramzan and yes, festivals do make us lazy. But they at the same time revive us with a spirit that is missing all throughout the year. I loved hearing what you had to say about Ramzan, why it is celebrated, its significance etc. In fact, sometimes I wonder why we are so ignorant about rituals and customs in the life of 'others'. We must make a conscious effort to venture beyond our own religion and customs, and try and find out more about the beliefs of others. This project has enabled me in a wonderful way to know more about your life, culture and festivals and I am glad that you have been responding and cooperating with me on this. 

I was happy to learn that Ramzan is considered as "Ibadat ka Mahina" (the month of worship), it is a guest that comes once an year, and the tradition of revering guests is so strong in both religions that we can often discover many commonalities. Despite having a number of Muslim friends, I actually never bothered to inquire about the religious and cultural significance of Ramzan in Islamic life, though I did savour kheer/sevaiyaan at my friend's place. I have always believed that whenever we celebrate festivals, it shouldn't be done for the sake of it. We have to strive to know the history and the significance behind these festivities, as therein lies a deeper and more meaningful message for humanity. Yes, festivals are definitely about enjoying, spending good time with family, gorging on delicacies and spending on new clothes ... but there is so much more to discover, so much more to know so that our celebrations become more meaningful. 

From you I learnt that Ramzan is the month of blessings and life changes completely during this month. All round the year, we may not be that devoted or may not immerse ourselves in religious activities, however during this month you are required to wake up early, keep fast, stay devoted. Life really is occupied. However, what struck me was when you told that Ramzan isn't only about keeping fast and it as a whole delivers the message of patience, tolerance, control and peace. It is not just about controlling one's desire for food, but the meaning goes much beyond ... during Ramzan one is not supposed to stay at a distance from only desires of food but other desires as well. It teaches control, humility and patience. It is about how you can distance yourself from worldly desires and be involved in "god consciousness" (this is the term that you used along with God's fear, however I prefer the other time since God is not someone we should fear ... he is someone whom we can confide in and can trust). In this month, you are also supposed to distance yourself from anger, hatred and be careful as to not hurt anybody. This is such a wonderful message that needs to be incorporated in peace-building. When we have our religions teaching us peace, why do we even need to look anywhere else? Why then are people using the pretext of religion and aiming swords at one another? Do we forget these messages once the holy months are over, returning to our nature of hatred and enmity? Any holy month, in any religion should lead us to the path of righteousness, to 'Ibadat' as you said, to being gracious for whatever God has given us. You also told me about "Zakaat" which essentially means charity/alms through which we realise the pain and suffering of others. We may be privileged, but there are others who are not. We should think about them as well. This is so similar to the Hindu concept of 'daan' i.e. charity ... in almost all festivals in Hindu religion, the concept of 'daan' has been emphasized. We have to give to others, not through a sense of superiority but through a feeling of sharing. 

In the same spirit of whatever you told me about Ramzan, I want to share with that we, in India are currently celebrating 'Shravan Maas' - month of Shravan ...which like Ramzan is considered to be a a holy month for the Hindus during which they keep fast, offer prayers and abstain from all sorts of worldly desires. The idea if the same ... to immerse oneself in worship. Shraavan is considered to be a very pious and auspicious month and it falls in July-August. It is after this month that majority of important festivals in the Hindu calendar are celebrated. Some of these are Rakshabandhan, Ganesh Chathurthi (worshiping lord Ganesh), Nag Panchami (worshiping the snake lord), Navaratri (the festival that celebrates Goddess Amba and is the festival of nine nights of dance!), and finally culminating into Dushhera and Diwali. Thus, you see that the Shravan marks the beginning of the festive season for Hindus. Usually, Lord Shiva is worshipped during this month and fast (upvaas) is kept in his honour, though for each day in the week there is a fast to be kept. I usually keep fast on Mondays and Tuesdays (Tuesday has a special significance for married women whereby they keep a fast in the honour of Devi Mangalagauri and pray for marital bliss). Throughout this month, we also exchange eatables with neighbours and make special kinds of foods for fasting (some examples are sabudana wada, sabudana khichadi, rajgira purees, rajgira sweet, recipes made of potato ...however all these should be made saltless). At times, I have felt that the importance of fasting has to be beyond religion, it is scientific since our body also requires rest from all the food and related items that we eat throughout the year. Fasting is essential and crucial to Hindu religion and there are many benefits to it. So, in the same way that you have 'Sehri' and 'Iftari', we also have a specific kind of food when breaking the fast ... of which sweets are must. This holy month teaches a similar message as Ramzan does ... that of peace, tolerance, devotion, worship, kindness and harmony. When you told me about Ramzan, I was totally mesmerized and could immediately connect with 'Shravan Maas', whereby we are adhering to almost a very similar message. The rituals, customs may be totally different but the underlying belief is the same - that of complete surrender to God. I never thought in this manner earlier, so I guess my peace-building instincts are leading me towards such a thinking. 

When you told me of dahi ballay, pakode, fruit chaat and other delicious items ... I remembered how I rush from the university to home waiting to break my fast, eager to know what delicacies await me. I do not know why people never talk about or remember the fact that all religions give us the same message, though the past towards attainment of the divine may be different. This month in BPP, we had great educative material on religion and while I am proud of my religious affiliations - I equally respect other religions and feel each should try and imbibe the best of the other. If this is what we keep in mind, peace shall be easier to achieve and our tasks in BPP will be meaningful. In fact, a few years ago I remember being member of an Islamic library in my city wherein I learnt a great deal about the fundamentals of Islam ... that doesn't make me any less Hindu, right?

I am also pleased to here about rains in Larkana and here also rains are providing the much needed respite from heat. I want to know more about the Lal Shabaz Kalandar shrine in Sewad and many more such religious places that attract Indians for worship. In fact, religion can be a great healer and both governments should strongly support people who wish to visit religious places on the other side. It can act as a unifying force. 

I am soon going to address your queries about Shiv Sena and India's stand on the conflict in Gaza. I just recently participated in a discussion on the same theme at India Post Live which is a web news portal. I had a great laugh as you shared that funny 'badaam cake' incident from your childhood! Ask me, how many times I have mistakenly broken my fast and have repented a lot. But, fasting depends on intentions and your father is right when he says that a fast must be done with good intentions and not with the aim of gaining something.

With that, I am waiting for Behaddd and Humsafar on Zindagi ... waiting to see Fawad Khan again. Also, seems Zindagi Gulzar Hai will be re-telecasted I guess, on popular demand. Can't wait to see Khoobsurat in a cinema hall. I love Fawad Khan ... Zindagi is very popular in India and there seems to be a craze surrounding it. Everybody is hooked to it. I am no different. Looing forward to watching what seems to be another promising drama .. Kahi Unkahi. 

Eid Mubarak and hope the month of Shravan brings for you happiness and prosperity.

Nidhi