What brings me to peace-building

I believe I am a bit late in writing this post. This I guess should have been the first post from my side. Nevertheless, now that I feel it is important to write, I dedicate this post to Sehr Nisar - my peace-building partner. The aim of this post Sehr is that you get to know me better, that we commence a fruitful dialogue to last for a whole year, that we know what each one of us thinks of this project and in the end the chance to be connected to you - which in a sense makes me feel very happy. I think it was a bit premature to think and start our discussions with topics like 'Holi' and 'Partition'. Sure, it is going to fun to chat up with you but I feel we need to know each other a bit more before we formally begin to interact. That is why this post.

I would like to begin by telling you something about myself. Of course as we talk and connect, it will be clear what we are and what each one of us stands for. This project for me is an opportunity to discover myself and discover the various layers of conflict and peace. Peace may not be the 'absence' of conflict but for me it clearly is the presence of conflict and differences whose knowledge makes us mature and accommodating. While talking about peace, it is not necessary to brush aside issues that are difficult to deal with, that are complex, that possess layers of understanding and that may not be simplified into 'black and white', 'good and bad', 'right and wrong'. Peace is not that simple, neither can we keep it caged in binary opposites. Conflict is as desirable as peace since conflict brings to us a variety of understandings, it allows us room for dissent. I believe it is possible to live happily in conflict if each side willingly accepts the differences and does not crib about it. I do not believe in the concept of absolute peace, neither do I see conflict as bad/undesirable. However, conflict has to be managed, the 'other' has to be given space, his/her views have to be heard and despite all the differences we continue to be friends. For me, conflict is a celebration of our diversities and differences. Not something to be anguished and antagonistic about. But even in conflict we should learn to accept and respect what the 'other' believes' and in his/her right to express one's own views.

Now about myself - of course to describe my life till now in the limits of a blog is not possible (since life is a limitless experience) but I would like you to know me ... to know who I am and what I believe in. I come from a middle class family in Gujarat and have lived in a joint family of parents, grandparents and a sister. My parents are doctors by profession and I have stayed for the most part of my life in Gujarat - this is what I call my home. My Gujarati identity is precious to me, I love my homeland and wish to be dedicated to its service for the rest of my life. Like any other girl of my age, I have friends, like to spend time with family, love Hindi movies (lets not call it Bollywood!) and have dreams of doing good work which will benefit my country. I completed my Bachelors in Political Science and then went on to pursue my Masters in Communication Studies. Presently (since 2011) I am engaged in a PhD in Political Science wherein I am working on the role of the media in India-Pakistan Conflict Mediation. I love what I am currently doing, I am passionate researcher and have been glued to the study of Politics for a long time. Research is something that I dearly love and wish to pursue research in many different forms in the future. I got married in 2011 and currently stay with my husband and mother-in-law in Baroda. I have a lovely and supportive family who understand me and my dreams and have given me the freedom to pursue what I wish. I am also a bit short-tempered, impatient :( and ideologically inclined. I have learnt important lessons in life by the way of experience. I am also a devout, not strictly religious in that sense but I believe in the strength of prayer and spirituality. My idea of religion is more attuned towards connecting to God via a dialogue with Him/Her. I believe in religious harmony, peaceful coexistence and learning about different religions. It is my dream to pursue a course in comparative religions where I may be able to gain knowledge of different religious practices. Since, the past three years I was also engaged in teaching in the university. I guided students for their research work and taught them Political Science as well as various aspects of research methodology. Studying is like an addiction that I have and frankly I look to studying more and more. I wish studies never ended for me :) Whenever I wish to relax, I prefer shopping and watching Hindi movies. I also keenly watch movies in different languages like Marathi, Gujarati, Bengali. I have also obtained a degree in Hindustani classic music long back. After I complete my PhD (which I wish to do soon!), I would like to rekindle my interests in music and professionally as well as seriously return to my love for music. I am a big garba freak. Garba is the traditional dance fest of Gujarat. I love listening to devotional songs. I love debates, interactions, new perspectives, different viewpoints and love talking. With this I am sure this project with you will be fun. 

My idea of peace-building is trying to understand people, their wishes, their lives, experiences and their world views. And this is precisely why I am here. I have been doing a lot of academic and research work since the past four years as a part of my thesis and in that process I have interacted with many Pakistanis - have found them to be very warm, friendly and cooperative - just like us Indians - I think when it comes to the people of the two countries there are many a common grounds to be discovered, but when it comes to the questions of 'state' and 'nationalism', problems arise and dialogue becomes difficult. I am here to engage in a dialogue with you. To tell you very frankly (and I believe that frankness and transparency are the first steps towards a dialogue), Pakistan actually did not figure in my interest areas before I actually started working on my research topic. It was only after that I started studying more and more in the area and talked and connected with many Pakistanis over social networking websites that I got interested in Pakistan and its people. Before that certainly the view I held about Pakistan was extremely stereotypical and narrow and I personally never bothered to explore the other side of Pakistan - which is its people, its culture, its tradition. The only emotion that I experienced for Pakistan was during an India-Pakistan cricket match in which I very obviously rooted for the victory of the Indian team (it hard be hard to believe that once I was a crazy cricket fan, so much so that I even visited temples to pray for the victory of the cricket team, sounds really hilarious na!). Now with a bit of reading and interaction with Pakistanis, I feel my views about them have undergone a sea change and I am glad that I came into this project with these views. But at this point of time I feel inadequate in my knowledge about Pakistan and its people. I wish to know more about the culture, traditions in Pakistan, the festivals you celebrate, the culture and music industry of Pakistan, its beautiful places, shrines, places of religious importance, its cities, villages, its movies, its people, its politics and education system and how the country actually is. And this I believe you can help me know. In turn I can tell all of these things about Indian to you. Basically I am here to strike a common ground with you because I very strongly believe that we have a lot in common, only that we are not aware about it. Some stereotypes about Pakistan are still entrenched in my mind and I wish to do away with them. I have never met a Pakistani in my entire life and last year I made a wish - for me to be able to meet my Pakistani friends, for me to be able to visit Pakistan and for them to be able to come to India. I hope this dream comes true.

I am not here to claim in any way that I am a peace-maker or that I can champion the cause of peace. I am ordinary soul who just wants to know, who is eager to learn and build friendships over the year. My selfish motive is to enhance my own knowledge and remove any misconceptions that I have. I believe Pakistan is a beautiful country and its people are even more beautiful. So this is my chance to know about your beautiful nation and tell me about mine. I am a nationalist, I love my country, I am proud of it - but my idea of peace is not restricted to the love for my country. My idea of peace is to build a common bond among the people of different countries, different nationalities. One may love one's country, there is nothing wrong with it - but one's love for the country should not be measured in terms of one's hatred for the other. This is peace-building and this is why I am here. I feel that through the sessions that we have together, we both will be enriched and in the end when we have a chance to meet our friendship will be strengthened. We will be able to spread our ideas of peace to our friends, family, colleagues with more conviction. We shall be able to resolve differences in a healthy manner and if these are not resolved we shall learn to live with them happily. We shall devote our energies to the task of peace because hatred damages one's own self more than anybody else. 

With this in mind, I hope to invite you and all other peace-builders in our group to my house to relish the taste of something that I love - Gujarati delicacies like khaman-dhokla, khandvi, undhiyu, sev tameta and ringan nu shaak. I love food :) and I am also eager to know what is famous in Pakistani cuisine so that when I come to meet you I can have it with you.

Lets continue this exchange of peace with a post from you now ... I am eagerly awaiting it :)

NIDHI