Then Peshawar ... Now Charlie Hebdo

Dear Sehr,

Happy New Year! As I wish you lots of prosperity and happiness for the new year 2015, I am amazed by the contradictions in my wish. I am wishing for you to be happy but am quite well aware that the circumstances around us are so gloomy that happiness is a distant reality. Events in December last year and now in the beginning of the new year are not at all 'happy'. I was quite moved by the letter that you wrote to me after the attack in Peshawar. On the day of the attack, I had just landed in Delhi from a multi-cultural experience in Nepal where me and my South Asian friends promised to work in solidarity for peace. What an irony, right? At first I could not comprehend the magnitude of what at happened, I turned numb as I saw images of the massacre in the news. What kind of a world do we live in? Violence, killings, massacres and murders have become news - sometimes it moves and sometimes it doesn't, depending on who was affected. At that point of time, when I saw images of children and their parents, pictures of blood in the school and the sense of chaos in Pakistan, I did not know how to react. I had come back from experiencing something totally different. For the past two weeks in Nepal, I was busy bonding with my South Asian friends, living in an ideal, peaceful and cooperative world I guess (that does not exist in reality). The attack was a bolt from the blue. It shook me from the inside core of my heart. When I saw the news on television, I felt as if the dreams, ideas and seeds that we had built and sowed over the past two weeks were shattered. This was a blow to our dreams and all that we stood for. Then, there was an outpour of solidarity notes and messages not just from Indian and Pakistani friends but also from other South Asian counterparts. Even the director of the program sent across a solidarity note. This was healing and reassuring. We were no more together but surely we were bonded by commonality of ideas and goals in the sub-continent. What was also peculiar was that on the last day of the programme, we watched the Nobel Peace prize award ceremony and heard both Malala and Satyarthi speak about the importance of education and child rights. Peshawar was a gruesome reminder that education and rights of children in both India and Pakistan are matters that should be given utmost attention by both people and governments in power. It was heartening to see Pakistanis cheer for Satyarthi and Indians cheer for Malala. Bright moment that I remember from the amazing time I had at the programme.

Salute to the brave children of Army Public School, Peshawar

The world had not even recovered from the Peshawar attack and the images of innocent school children were still afresh, when 12 people were killed at the office of French magazine Charlie Hebdo. And what was their crime? Their crime was offending few people by drawing cartoons! Like Peshawar, I saw images of the Charlie Hebdo attack on TV and again was struck at what actually was happening to this place called 'earth' where we are living??? I mean it has become so easy to kill, to take a gun and shoot, and murder and go on a rampage and then proudly claim that this was done for protecting 'our' God!!! Is God so weak that he needs protection? And that too through the use of violence and murder? God surely doesn't need the kind of a protection, honour and respect in which innocent children and brave journalists are killed. He would despise it for sure. I got so curious about the work of this magazine that I read many articles on its work. I found them to be quite brave and forthcoming since they lampooned all religions. Their ideas were against extremism in religion, and not religion itself. I wonder what offended the attackers? There is a raging debate going on about freedom of express and its limits in context of the attack on Charlie Hebdo. But I am convinced that though freedom of expression does come with limits and responsibilities, you do not have the license to kill someone if you don't agree with their views or feel hurt by them. There is always a possibility for rationale debate and argument. Are we losing out on it gradually by giving way to 'action and reaction' formula. I would love to have your response on this, especially in the case of both Peshawar and Charlie Hebdo.

I loved the poem that you wrote in the last post. It was written with all your heart, and trust me, I could sense your pain, the anguish that you felt. I have shared it across my network and I feel compelled now to write something creative in response to the violence that has plagued the world. Words, are after all, an outlet for one's emotions. I want to experience a sense of release and relief and feel that at this point in time, only writing can offer me that. Every time a heinous incident happens, we see hashtags like #IndiawithPakistan, #JeSuisCharlie trending. This is a good way to show solidarity and I am all for it. But now we have to move beyond these hashtags and come out more vocally against extremism in all religions. Though the nature of both the events was different, the roots are the same i.e. a sense of superiority, a feeling that my God is better than yours and you have no right to insult my God, if you don't accept my God ... you are not worthy to live in this world. These kind of associations with religion are a reason why religion has become a 'soft tool' for terrorists around the world. We have to reclaim our religions from anybody who is misusing and maligning them. If we as moderates cannot stand up for our own faith, then we have no right to blame extremists for the misuse of religious ideology. I believe that time has also come for us moderates to bring religious teachings into the mainstream and let the young generation learn the true message of religion. Religion is an inseparable part of our life and we have to live with this fact. We must not let a handful of people take our religion hostage to extremist ideologies and actions. I hope that through this peace project we have taken baby steps towards this path and will continue even after the project formally ends because our commitment to peace is what brought us together in the first place.

Is the pen mightier than the sword? Long live freedom of expression

This year has not started on a good and hopeful note, but we can only wish and work for peaceful times ahead. This is our lifetime endeavour and any Peshawar and Charlie Hebdo cannot stop us from surging ahead in what is our life ... Our life is peace, it will be peace.

Signing off on a disillusioned note,

Yours

Nidhi Apa

Family, Education and Religion: An Interface to counter Gender Based Violence

Since issues of gender based violence, discrimination and ill-treatment are plaguing both India and Pakistan, it is relevant here to share my entry for "Go Beyond the Armchair", an initiative by The Red Elephant Foundation in Chennai. The idea was to bring people to go beyond 'liking and sharing' on Facebook and suggest ideas for concrete action, develop strategies and responses to counter gender-based violence that is rampant in our societies. Here is my idea for which I won the second prize :) The spirit behind this idea is to leave the chair of comfort that we occupy and plunge into the real world to offer real solutions.

Family, Education and Religion: An Interface to counter Gender Based Violence

Increased incidences of gender based violence have initiated debate over ways to counter it. However, most ideas that emerge are idealistic and call for a drastic change in the social order. This may not be feasible considering the fact that societies over the world are deeply entrenched in patriarchal attitudes and short term solutions to this cannot solve the problems that we encounter today in the form of violence, brutality, gender stereotyping and gender mainstreaming. Any change that can claim to be sustainable has to come from within. It has to be rooted so strongly that generations after generations imbibe it and practice it.

It is in this view that I suggest an interface between family, education and religion in order to tackle what can be termed as the marginalization of one important section of society – i.e. women. Attitudes towards gender are shaped by culture and religion, both of which play a dominant role in socialization. Family and Education are important sites of socialization since they shape and individual right from his/her childhood and have a long lasting impact on the kind of citizens a society produces. Any strategy to address gender based violence cannot be successful if it operates in isolation. Because this is not a problem alone of any one sphere of society. It is a result of the interactions between these spheres and their influence on each other. A sustainable strategy to address concerns raised by gender inequality and gender discrimination of any form should involve three major actors that play an important role in the life of an individual – namely family, education and religion.

Religion ought to be employed as a tool to develop sensitivity about human life and devotion to serving the society. Socializing an individual into a particular religion takes place in the family and it is here that the family can act as a site for inculcating positive religious learnings which teach children the importance of human values. Religion is a crucial part of our upbringing, which can rarely be avoided by people. Instead of being overwhelmed by one’s religion, family should encourage children to practice religion with human values. The emphasis of humanity through religion can then be taken to the school, which is the second home for a child. An inter-faith atmosphere where the child has the opportunity to learn about different cultures and develop a sense of respect for them will be the second step of this interface. Education can then work as a tool to shatter stereotypes and prejudices that the child may have learnt from his surroundings. Both family and education then do not shun religion/culture but use them in a very constructive way in order to address larger human concerns. The result would be people who are socially sensitive and recognize the need to move beyond established norms and rituals. Such a population will not be bogged down by dogma, ritualistic concerns or societal pressures but would strive to make this world if not an equal but a more humane place to live in.

Gender based violence as an issue affects all societies the world over. Primarily, it is not just a 'women's' problem since men can too be victims of gender based violence. A wonderful campaign initiated by The United Nations 'HeforShe' says it all. Gender based violence could be seen from the prism of structural violence since its roots lie deeper into cultural and religious forces that govern our life. To address such a deep-rooted problem, women cannot be the only stakeholders. Others and their participation is significant too. These can be identified as - men, civil society, media, state etc. An interface between family, religion and education, all three of which lie at the heart of a community can be evolved to address this issue in an innovative way. We need to strike gender based violence at its roots and eliminate it from where it begins to operate. This cannot be achieved without the help and involvement of the community since any examination of gender based violence only through the prism of an individual is flawed. Any change that can claim to be sustainable has to come from within. It has to be rooted so strongly that generations after generations imbibe it and practice it. If we leave out the community from under the purview of gender based violence and solutions related to it, then we are only talking of a solution restricted to the 'armchair'. We need to go beyond the armchair and undertake concrete action to address this pressing issue. The best way to actively involve the community in this is to develop linkages between religion, education and family in a constructive way in order to give an impetus to community practices that are not bogged down by dogma, ritualistic concerns or societal pressures. The community thus can be made the biggest stakeholder in dealing with this issue, without whose involvement I see little success for isolated efforts to effectively deal with gender based violence and do justice to those whose lives it has destroyed - both men and women.

Two Religions ... One Message ... Peace

Dear Sehr,

I have become addicted to either writing a blogpost to you or sending you voice-notes through Whatsapp. I hope you enjoyed reading what I wrote about our friendship as part of Chintan bhai's 'Friendships Across Borders: Aao Dosti Karein' forum. I was extremely delighted when he asked me if I could contribute a piece about our friendship. I lapped it up for I didn't wish to lose a chance to tell you how special you have become in my life. Every word that was written sprang from my heart and I hope once we complete this Peace-building project, I would have much more to write about the special bond that has been created between the two of us. 

I was happy to know that you were busy with the festivities in Ramzan and yes, festivals do make us lazy. But they at the same time revive us with a spirit that is missing all throughout the year. I loved hearing what you had to say about Ramzan, why it is celebrated, its significance etc. In fact, sometimes I wonder why we are so ignorant about rituals and customs in the life of 'others'. We must make a conscious effort to venture beyond our own religion and customs, and try and find out more about the beliefs of others. This project has enabled me in a wonderful way to know more about your life, culture and festivals and I am glad that you have been responding and cooperating with me on this. 

I was happy to learn that Ramzan is considered as "Ibadat ka Mahina" (the month of worship), it is a guest that comes once an year, and the tradition of revering guests is so strong in both religions that we can often discover many commonalities. Despite having a number of Muslim friends, I actually never bothered to inquire about the religious and cultural significance of Ramzan in Islamic life, though I did savour kheer/sevaiyaan at my friend's place. I have always believed that whenever we celebrate festivals, it shouldn't be done for the sake of it. We have to strive to know the history and the significance behind these festivities, as therein lies a deeper and more meaningful message for humanity. Yes, festivals are definitely about enjoying, spending good time with family, gorging on delicacies and spending on new clothes ... but there is so much more to discover, so much more to know so that our celebrations become more meaningful. 

From you I learnt that Ramzan is the month of blessings and life changes completely during this month. All round the year, we may not be that devoted or may not immerse ourselves in religious activities, however during this month you are required to wake up early, keep fast, stay devoted. Life really is occupied. However, what struck me was when you told that Ramzan isn't only about keeping fast and it as a whole delivers the message of patience, tolerance, control and peace. It is not just about controlling one's desire for food, but the meaning goes much beyond ... during Ramzan one is not supposed to stay at a distance from only desires of food but other desires as well. It teaches control, humility and patience. It is about how you can distance yourself from worldly desires and be involved in "god consciousness" (this is the term that you used along with God's fear, however I prefer the other time since God is not someone we should fear ... he is someone whom we can confide in and can trust). In this month, you are also supposed to distance yourself from anger, hatred and be careful as to not hurt anybody. This is such a wonderful message that needs to be incorporated in peace-building. When we have our religions teaching us peace, why do we even need to look anywhere else? Why then are people using the pretext of religion and aiming swords at one another? Do we forget these messages once the holy months are over, returning to our nature of hatred and enmity? Any holy month, in any religion should lead us to the path of righteousness, to 'Ibadat' as you said, to being gracious for whatever God has given us. You also told me about "Zakaat" which essentially means charity/alms through which we realise the pain and suffering of others. We may be privileged, but there are others who are not. We should think about them as well. This is so similar to the Hindu concept of 'daan' i.e. charity ... in almost all festivals in Hindu religion, the concept of 'daan' has been emphasized. We have to give to others, not through a sense of superiority but through a feeling of sharing. 

In the same spirit of whatever you told me about Ramzan, I want to share with that we, in India are currently celebrating 'Shravan Maas' - month of Shravan ...which like Ramzan is considered to be a a holy month for the Hindus during which they keep fast, offer prayers and abstain from all sorts of worldly desires. The idea if the same ... to immerse oneself in worship. Shraavan is considered to be a very pious and auspicious month and it falls in July-August. It is after this month that majority of important festivals in the Hindu calendar are celebrated. Some of these are Rakshabandhan, Ganesh Chathurthi (worshiping lord Ganesh), Nag Panchami (worshiping the snake lord), Navaratri (the festival that celebrates Goddess Amba and is the festival of nine nights of dance!), and finally culminating into Dushhera and Diwali. Thus, you see that the Shravan marks the beginning of the festive season for Hindus. Usually, Lord Shiva is worshipped during this month and fast (upvaas) is kept in his honour, though for each day in the week there is a fast to be kept. I usually keep fast on Mondays and Tuesdays (Tuesday has a special significance for married women whereby they keep a fast in the honour of Devi Mangalagauri and pray for marital bliss). Throughout this month, we also exchange eatables with neighbours and make special kinds of foods for fasting (some examples are sabudana wada, sabudana khichadi, rajgira purees, rajgira sweet, recipes made of potato ...however all these should be made saltless). At times, I have felt that the importance of fasting has to be beyond religion, it is scientific since our body also requires rest from all the food and related items that we eat throughout the year. Fasting is essential and crucial to Hindu religion and there are many benefits to it. So, in the same way that you have 'Sehri' and 'Iftari', we also have a specific kind of food when breaking the fast ... of which sweets are must. This holy month teaches a similar message as Ramzan does ... that of peace, tolerance, devotion, worship, kindness and harmony. When you told me about Ramzan, I was totally mesmerized and could immediately connect with 'Shravan Maas', whereby we are adhering to almost a very similar message. The rituals, customs may be totally different but the underlying belief is the same - that of complete surrender to God. I never thought in this manner earlier, so I guess my peace-building instincts are leading me towards such a thinking. 

When you told me of dahi ballay, pakode, fruit chaat and other delicious items ... I remembered how I rush from the university to home waiting to break my fast, eager to know what delicacies await me. I do not know why people never talk about or remember the fact that all religions give us the same message, though the past towards attainment of the divine may be different. This month in BPP, we had great educative material on religion and while I am proud of my religious affiliations - I equally respect other religions and feel each should try and imbibe the best of the other. If this is what we keep in mind, peace shall be easier to achieve and our tasks in BPP will be meaningful. In fact, a few years ago I remember being member of an Islamic library in my city wherein I learnt a great deal about the fundamentals of Islam ... that doesn't make me any less Hindu, right?

I am also pleased to here about rains in Larkana and here also rains are providing the much needed respite from heat. I want to know more about the Lal Shabaz Kalandar shrine in Sewad and many more such religious places that attract Indians for worship. In fact, religion can be a great healer and both governments should strongly support people who wish to visit religious places on the other side. It can act as a unifying force. 

I am soon going to address your queries about Shiv Sena and India's stand on the conflict in Gaza. I just recently participated in a discussion on the same theme at India Post Live which is a web news portal. I had a great laugh as you shared that funny 'badaam cake' incident from your childhood! Ask me, how many times I have mistakenly broken my fast and have repented a lot. But, fasting depends on intentions and your father is right when he says that a fast must be done with good intentions and not with the aim of gaining something.

With that, I am waiting for Behaddd and Humsafar on Zindagi ... waiting to see Fawad Khan again. Also, seems Zindagi Gulzar Hai will be re-telecasted I guess, on popular demand. Can't wait to see Khoobsurat in a cinema hall. I love Fawad Khan ... Zindagi is very popular in India and there seems to be a craze surrounding it. Everybody is hooked to it. I am no different. Looing forward to watching what seems to be another promising drama .. Kahi Unkahi. 

Eid Mubarak and hope the month of Shravan brings for you happiness and prosperity.

Nidhi