Indians and Pakistanis Cement Friendship through Peace Building Course

Although it may be hard to believe, the sight of Indians and Pakistanis talking to each other is not at all unusual. Despite the barbed wires that separate people of the two ‘enemy’ nations, one finds Indians and Pakistanis connecting beyond physical and mental barriers. With the help of virtual technologies, it is no longer an uphill task to connect with someone from across the border. While one-off interactions are quite common, an Indo-Pak peace building initiative recently introduced a peace building course that aimed to facilitate interaction between select individuals in an organized and structured manner for a longer duration of time.

Aaghaz-e-Dosti (AED), a civilian peace building initiative spearheaded by Mission Bhartiyam, a Delhi based non-profit and The Catalyst, based in Pakistan, working for normalization of relations between the two countries through people-to-people contact, introduced a novel peace building course called ‘Friends Beyond Borders’. For the first season of the course, which ran for eight weeks, AED received around 80 applications from different parts of India and Pakistan, small and big areas alike. This eight-week intense, interactive course, paired an Indian and a Pakistani through a mentor who was responsible for moderating interaction between them. The participants were designated as Indo-Pak E-Pals or Fellows. Devika Mittal, an AED convener, described the course as intending to “facilitate people-to-people communication, generate a culture of mutual respect and understanding, strengthen bonds of friendship, and develop a faculty of critical thinking for participants to be able to accept and move ahead with differences”. In her views, what South Asia requires at the moment is a celebration of differences to be able to counter extremist narratives of hate and violence.

Madeeha Dogar from Pakistan (Left) and Yashika Pahwa from India (Right)

As part of the course, twelve cross-border pairs interacted on several broad themes including politics, culture, religion, media, and society. Each week, the pairs were given discussion points, activities, and resources on a particular subject. They then explored the topic and worked on theme-based assignments as a pair. Participants spent the first five weeks learning about diversity in terms of religion, language, culture in India and Pakistan, common challenges faced by both countries, role of media in the Indo-Pak relationship, and a basic introduction to peace and conflict resolution.

I spoke to four participants and two mentors about their experience of participating in the course. Akshay Mankar, an undergraduate student at Hidayatullah National Law University, India, was paired with Salma Noureen, an educator from Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province in Pakistan. Akshay shared that his motivation to apply for the course was to contribute towards the noble goal of peace. “Before the course, my perception was that Pakistanis have a single identity; that as Muslims. It is from this course that I learnt of the diversity of identities in Pakistan, both Muslim and non-Muslim. I also used to blame Pakistan for all the problems in the Indo-Pak relationship. I have now realized that this is not correct. Both nations have their fair share of blame.” For Akshay’s project partner Salma Noureen, this was the second time she was involved in a cross-border peace building exchange. For Salma, no nationality teaches people to be prejudiced and biased. Hence, judging people based on their nationality is a narrow-minded exercise. Through her interaction with Indians so far, particularly in this course, Salma believes, “they are more concerned, aware of the changing world, and are able to see things in a broader perspective”. As a Pakistani, she feels that she has more to connect with on a common ground with Indians than disagree with them. During the course, Salma witnessed a glimpse of what she refers to as the ‘diversity of India’. She was ignorant of the many dimensions of India and the course helped her enrich her understanding of India. Akshay shares that Salma taught him to be optimistic for peace and strengthened his belief in humans striving for humanity on the other side of the border.

Yashika Pahwa and Madeeha Dogar, two young ladies from India and Pakistan respectively, was the other pair that I spoke with. Madeeha is a teacher's assistant with ACE International Academy, Islamabad. Yashika has a Masters Degree in Psychology. Yashika, who aspired for a more serious and deeper conversation than the occasional informal interactions that she’d had with Pakistanis earlier, was convinced about this course right from the beginning. Despite the considerable age gap between the two, Yashika and Madeeha broke the ice as soon as they began talking. Their common belief in being sensitive to alternate realities helped them through the course's journey. “Today, Madeeha is a good friend on whom I rely for advice, with whom I happily share my problems just like I would do with my friends here in India. I have learnt that Pakistan is a great country which has amazing talent with a potential to make impact at the global level”, Yashika recounts. Madeeha on the other hand recalled being inspired by her father’s interactions with Indians while he was studying. Her views of India came from Indian dramas, leading her to believe that Indians are mean, opportunistic, and can never be trusted. Her imagination of India was more ‘Hindu’ than a country that accommodates more religions and cultures than one can even imagine. Talking to Yashika, she says, changed all of that. They connected especially through their love for food and exchanged details of the kind of food that was popular on both sides. The pair, like others in the course, made an attempt to learn the other’s language as Madeeha wrote to Yashika in Hindi while Yashika tried doing the same in Urdu.

The mentoring process was facilitated by team members of Aaghaz-e-Dosti. The idea was not to instruct but to provide participants a flexible platform to help them build their interactions. Imrana Qasim from Quaid-i-Azam University, Islamabad, who mentored Fatima Shah from Pakistan and Aasma Pratap Singh from India, spoke to me about how the friendship paradigm that this course brought forth attracted her to play the role of a mentor. She was all praise for the pair whom she credited to being open and patient to divergent views. “Through activities such as video sharing, media analysis, and sharing of cultural values, I experienced a growing friendship between the two as the course progressed. Thinking altered, misconceptions were resolved, perspectives were enhanced, and more support was built in for Indo-Pak friendship”, said Imrana. Madhulika Narasimhan, a researcher from Delhi, mentored two pairs for the course: Richard Salafia from India and Faisal Latif from Pakistan, and Jasmine Singh from India and Muhammad Saad Farooqi from Pakistan. Madhlika claims the experience allowed her to both contribute to the process of peace building, as well as gain individually from it. She said it was a challenge mentoring the pairs since they already had a defined mentality about the ‘other’. Being sensitive to their ideas and thoughts was what she deemed important. Although she denies experiencing a sense of euphoria or achievement for having interacted with Pakistanis, because of her regular conversations with people from across the border, the course did allow her to dwell in exploring the mystery that surrounds a common understanding of issues between India and Pakistan. “I felt the course gave a sense of space and freedom to the participants, allowing them room for discussion and disagreement, rather than burdening them with structured thought processes. What the participants documented, stemmed naturally from their experiences, believes Madhulika.

Friends Beyond Borders concluded in early August with fellows interacting with Dr. Meenakshi Chhabra of Lesley University, Cambridge, Dr. Dhananjay Tripathi of South Asian University, India, and Dr. Zahid Shahab Ahmed of National University of Sciences and Technology, Pakistan, through video conferencing. While sceptics continue to doubt the fruitfulness of people-to-people dialogue between Indians and Pakistanis, what a course like this demonstrates is that even if virtually, such initiatives can indeed have a potential long term impact on the way relations between India and Pakistan take shape in times to come. 

You can check out the Aaghaz-e-Dosti Facebook page and follow them on Twitter at @aaghazedosti.

Written by Nidhi Shendurnikar-Tere and published on 16-October-2015 on the Sarhadpaar campaign at Beyond Violence

CONTACT SOUTH ASIA 2014

SIT’s CONTACT Programme: Where South Asia lives and learns together

The SIT Graduate Institute’s annual CONTACT programme in Nepal is a platform for people from across South Asia to bond with and learn from each other.

It was the 16th of December when I landed in Delhi from Nepal. On seeing news about the dastardly killing of innocent school children in Peshawar, I wondered how my identity as a South Asian had undergone immense transformation during the past two weeks as a participant of The SIT Graduate Institute’s CONTACT (Conflict Transformation Across Cultures) programme in Kathmandu. I suddenly became more sensitive to my identity as a South Asian, pained at what was happening to my region.

The nature of the attack in Peshawar shook me, since it was only a day before that I parted ways with my South Asian friends, pledging to work in solidarity for peace. My arrival from Nepal and this news reaffirmed the fact that there was a long way to go before South Asia could achieve peace, harmony, development, justice, and other ideals that we had been deliberating over the past two weeks.

SIT’s (School for International Training) South Asia programme in Kathmandu, aptly titled CONTACT, was a unique opportunity for South Asians to experience and live through multiculturalism, friendships, and cross-country bonding over a period of two weeks in residence. The programme brought together over 40 participants from the South Asian region for a professional training in peace-building and conflict resolution. Since the past five years, the institute has been conducting this programme in Nepal (perceived as a neutral venue for South Asians to meet and interact with each other).

The training module this year comprised of courses in peace-building, conflict resolution, peace mediation, arts and peace-building, memories of war and the use of theatre to convey intricacies related to conflict and peace. Taught by expert faculty, participants hailed from Afghanistan, Bangladesh, India, Myanmar, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, and Tibet.

CONTACT SOUTH ASIA 2014 participants
Picture: Julie Orfirer

After the Peshwar attack, the hashtag #IndiawithPakistan gained momentum on social media. Through this, it was heartening to witness a culmination of what I learnt over the past two weeks. That India and Pakistan along with the entire region stood united in wake of this attack was something that I personally experienced. There was an outpouring of solidarity notes and messages from friends in the region. In this tragedy, we stood more committed in our belief to combat extremist ideologies in each of our countries to realize the vision built for the region during the programme.

Year by year, CONTACT offers a unique experience for South Asians who probably have limited opportunities of connecting and communicating with each other. Students, activists, media professionals, lawyers, academics, NGO professionals, freelancers, and researchers are among those who participate in this melting pot kind of experience. For many, it is the first time that they meet someone from a country other than their own in the region. That first impression, the first meeting paves way for everlasting friendships.

This year’s CONTACT programme provided for a unique blend of arts and peace-building. With a noted theatre teacher and an artist as facilitators, participants employed their creative skills to carve expressions of peace and conflict in their respective communities and countries. Sessions on conflict mapping, conflict analysis, strategizing a non-violent advocacy movement, free whiling sharing sessions on participant’s own experiences of conflict, role play exercises in peace mediation, building art collages to symbolize conflict and peace, and showcasing documentaries and videos from conflict zones around the world were part of the programme. Guest sessions included perspective building on media’s role in conflict.

Apart from a flurry of intellectual engagements, the CONTACT programme let participants soak in cultural experiences, pursue informal discussions on relevant socio-political issues, build bonds over song, dance and cultural presentations and connect to each other as part of group activities. Perspective building emerged as an important part of the programme since there were differences, debates, discussions and several contentions put forward. The shared vision though was of peace as imperative for South Asia’s development, peace that belongs to people and is not hostage to political elites and power.

By the end of the programme, participants began questioning deeply entrenched stereotypes, narrow versions of nationalism to develop a holistic understanding of complex issues that plague the region. On the final day, participants watched a recorded version of the Nobel Peace Prize ceremony with Indians cheering for Malala and Pakistanis for Satyarthi.

CONTACT was a perfect opportunity for South Asians to live and learn together, transcending barriers of nationality, language, race and religion. It foregrounded an innovative blend of theory and practice in peace and conflict studies, from which every participant could take back something meaningful to their own conflicts in their own communities. Conflicts in South Asia are complex. South Asians can unravel, simplify and learn to manage conflicts by getting to meet, know, and talk. An experiential learning process made a concept as complicated as conflict interesting for CONTACT participants. At the end of two weeks of learning, give and take, experience; participants utilized an integration day to share, reflect, capitalize and network for future prospects in the field.

In the midst of hectic sessions, participants also explored local Nepalese culture and cuisine, busy markets, landmark monuments probably knowing that meeting again and spending time like this would be a distant dream. Filled with emotional, intellectual and hands-on skills, I grew to be a more sensitive human being in those two weeks of cross cultural interaction and imbibed a completely different meaning of peace. Peace is essential, desirable and achievable. Peace is team work and collaboration. Peace is acceptance and friendship. In a region afflicted by conflicts of grave consequences, this kind of CONTACT can go a long way in strengthening South Asia’s resolve to successfully confront challenges in the region.

16/12- #IndiaWithPakistan

Dear Apa,

It always extends to be a long era since I catch up here and I apologize, I do confess that I am sometimes really bad at keeping my life at a balance. You will be surprised to know that I'm no more in Lahore while writing this post but back in my home. Our University had to announce Winter Holidays before our finals that were to happen due to prevailing security threats in the country and to the educational institutions and I had to catch up the flight of next day to return home. These past days have been quite unexpected days of my life. 16/12 proved to 9/11 for Pakistan and sighs, sighs, we cannot even properly get out of it. Probably, we never ever will be the same after Peshawar Massacre. It snatched the soul out of our bodies. We always saw flowers on the dead bodies, never did we see the dead bodies of flowers. Flowers so innocent, so delicate, so unique. Unique in their stories and their fragrance. I've been writing and writing but the first instance when I read the news, I stood still in a shock with no words. Silence prevailed. I swear, it actually happened. I cannot imagine what happened, what those parents went through, I cannot imagine. It's like dying but not being able to die. The worst of wounds anyone could inflict upon us.

I didn't know how I felt. I was so angry and so frustrated at the same time. I cried. And I was so hurt. I didn't know what to do of this slow bursting in tears and tapping my pen into something, I opened it up and wrote something. I pushed myself to write something, and all the words that I could actually pile up on that paper were these to which I titled as 'Apne bikhre khayalat ka bikhra izhaar':

Likh likh k thak gaye hain sab,
Parne lagi hai madam kalam ki roshnai,
Lahoo ka jism se hai rishta aisaa,
Lekin aik nayaa itihaaz rachne laga hai ye dekho kesaa,
Bagair bhi jee lete hain hamare watan k ye anokhe sipaayi,
Junoon ka aik naya silsilaa kharaa honey laga dekho kesa,
Ye aansoon ki kataaren, ye Qabron ki kami,
Itni mehngi ye matti, aur itna sasta ye khoon
Kis tarah sameten, kis kis ko sambhalen,
Hum sab hee dhoob rahe hain inn aansoon k jharan main,
Itne masoomon ki cheekhein, itne asaatzaa ki dars o tadrees,
Unn ki aankhon main mazloomiyat phir bhi gharon main toofan bhara
Yahan tau sab hee dete hain jaanon ka nazrana
Kese bhool paayen ge hum unn phoolon ki muskaratein,
Dekho thakte nahn wo hevaan bhujaate bhujaate
Kitne diye bhujaayegen?
Hum din main sooraj ki roshni hain,
Hum raat ko jugnoo ka halkaa hain,
Iss mulk k saaye taaley, hum marr mitne ko zinda hain
Kesi jang hai ye, kesa waqt hai
Lahoo k khel ko banaa dia hai khidmat e insaaniyat
Aey watan, pyaare watan, tu hai aur hum hain,
Hai kesi ye uljhan, hai kesa ye zulm, hai kesi ye jhaariyat
Hum sab kitne bikhre hain aaj, phir bhi saath hain,
Hum aik hain, hum aik hain aaj

After completing it, I wanted to write and never stop. But, I'd to go attend the vigil in university. Every eye was wet, every face was sad. Pakistan couldn't still digest what just happened to it. But, when I came online I saw, Kirthi Apa sending this voice note which told us about this trend #IndiaWithPakistan and I saw quite large number of Indians coming out in support of Pakistan in this tragedy and through this post, I also want to Thank you India for their support and love. It felt more than just good. It touched us. Quite honestly, this project has taught me a lot about peace. It has taught me what I'm to me and what others are to me and what peace is to us. It has made me realize what I wanted to do in my life. I confess, hereby, that this project instilled me this passion for activism in every aspect and because of it, after this incident I took one of the quite small yet independent decisions of my life. It was to go on a walk of silent protest with my University without calling home and telling them that I was going. Why did I do this? It wasn't that I didn't bother about them, It wasn't either because my Parents wouldn't let me go out after this incident, it was because I knew that my Parents would support me in this and guess what? They were proud after hearing this.
Apa, that day I cried a lot like everyone else and I couldn't sleep for days. One of the reasons to it was that all the lives that were lost, I saw them as my brothers. I have two brothers who study in an army boarding school, what more could tear me apart when I saw this happening. God forbidden, it could happen to anyone. All those faces were not unknown to me, I felt they being very close to me. I felt they being my part because we are Pakistan and I'm them, they were me, we all are one. My point here to make is that we are all trained for this, we all know what could happen to us, my Dad still after this incident didn't mind me coming home on a coach.

What makes me even more sad these days is this helplessness. I regret coming back home, I wish I could go to Peshawar. I long to meet those all whose sons, daughters, relatives gave blood for this nation. Peace, I wish I can go and take a message of peace to soothe their pain, that I never can. These wounds are so deep and fresh. Let them remain this way because they will keep instilling in us this passion to do something, to play our part in peace, to play our part in this war. This life seems a debt which I never can pay back but at least, I can try.
And my rest of the life, I shall use for this purpose. I shall live for it. I shall die for it. Peace is my message. Peace is for Pakistan. Peace is for India. We all need Peace and not war. 

Give peace a chance, pretty please, pretty please!

Love
Sehr

Thinking as South Asians

Over the course of this project, during our conversations and while writing on our blog both myself and Sehr have been engaged in discussions about India and Pakistan. We have mulled over many aspects related to both countries, their conflict, their friendship and the future course of relations between them. It is in this process (which will shortly complete six glorious months!) that we have discovered each other. We always felt we knew more than enough about the 'other'. But what a revealing journey this has been. On this path, we have endeared upto each other, have shed our presumptions and with an open mind embraced the 'other'. We look forward to the next half of this journey. 

At this point I strongly feel that we need to venture beyond our national identities and talk about something that is more important. Of course, our identities as either Indians or Pakistanis do play a very important role in our lives. But this is not the end of why we are here together. We have met for a larger purpose. I have always wondered what is that is so common among us, what is that which drive us towards a prosperous and happier future? Should we be contained thinking that we have known the 'other' quite well now and that our job has come to and end? The answer to these questions was discovered when I started thinking of myself as a South Asian. I have many identities that have become an inseparable part of my life. However, the identity that I think about the least is my being a South Asian. Why cannot we think of ourselves as citizens of a sub-continent with such a glorious and rich past, heritage and social fabric. Why should we limit ourselves to being Indians or Pakistanis? After all, we share another interesting common identity. We belong to South Asia and we should be proud of this fact. However, how many of us would like to think of themselves as South Asians first and nationals of their country later? Despite the fact that we wax eloquent about our shared heritage, culture, language and identity ... somehow we have forgotten that we belong to the land of South Asia and it is the South Asian identity that strongly binds us together. Me and Sehr now wish to undertake and adopt this very neglected identity. We are South Asians who are committed to the larger cause of peace and development not only for India and Pakistan, but for the whole of South Asia. We ought not forget that as the two largest, most powerful nations in South Asia, both India and Pakistan have to be responsible towards humanity in this sub-continent. We cannot at this juncture afford to remain confined to our national identities and think only in terms of what is the best for our country. The time has come to expand our visions and ponder about what we can do for our neighbourhood.

South Asian Unity

As a citizen of South Asia's largest and most powerful country, I believe that more can be done on part of India in order to develop a vision for our region. India as a resource-rich and powerful nation can become the centre-point for South Asia's progress story. India has the resources and the capacity to spearhead South Asia towards the path of progress. Why then the reluctance to setting out on this path? It is because we have become so used to our identities as Indians that we are unable to venture beyond our very limited nationalist spheres. I do not visualize India as a 'bully' or a 'hegemonic power' in the sub-continent but as an elder brother who feels responsible towards his younger siblings. We see Indians making their mark in every field of life, we also see a dissolution of identities when Indians, Pakistanis, Bangladeshis, Sri Lankans, Nepalis meet in far off lands. Our nationalistic orientations should not stop us from thinking about ourselves as citizens of South Asia. As good citizens, we definitely ought to contribute to the progress charts of our country. But it is time that we venture beyond and think in broader terms. India, I believe can do wonders for South Asia - and this is not just strategically or politically but more importantly in terms of economy, education, environment, culture etc. India should not strive to be a leader in South Asia, only capitalizing on its political and military power. It must rather think about how through its own development it can contribute to the flourishing of its neighbours. A prosperous and developed India can contribute to a stronger South Asia. It is indeed the need of the hour. When Europe can do it, so can we. Let us for a moment sit back and think as South Asians. Let us take South Asia to the heights of prosperity and develop it as a model region in the world.  The time is ripe that we forget our bickerings and come together as South Asians.  

Nidhi Shendurnikar 

While the world is looking down to Pakistan in a time I consider as one of the most sensitive ones, I think it has given rise to millions of questions on the credibility of institutions, democratic system and overall it's reflection as deteriorating reputation to the world. Meanwhile, Pak-India relations now have also turned out to capture the media attention. The skirmishes on border of Sialkot have raised many eyebrows and questions too obviously. However, we need to take a turn and take a broader perspective on the importance of Pakistan's contribution to South Asia as a whole. Pakistan holds an important strategic position in South Asia due to its location and due to it being the only Islamic Nuclear country in the world. We are in a position where we as a country seem to be trying to deal with internal challenges since 67 years of Independence. In 1971, East Pakistan and West Pakistan separated which produced more challenges to its state. If we generally take a look at Pakistan, India and Bangladesh, all of them faced challenges. What India faced after independence was a rule of a certain party for many years and this year, many might agree that they got free of 'Khaandani' hukumat. However, what Pakistan faced after independence was dictatorship. Years and years passed facing, tolerating and struggling for democracy and in 2013, first proper democratic system was handed over to other elected government. After a year, protests have started against the violation of merit system, against the massive rigging that Government is accused of in 2013 Elections and against the politics of 'Samdhi, beta, behn, bateeja'. Pakistan which had started a journey of economic development and peace relations with India as well as other countries in South Asia, seems to have been flooded away by the corruption and unjust system, as many say. Technically, we are in a position of war. Operation Zarb-e-Azb is undergoing and due to current political instabilities all the attention is diverted. Many fear bloodshed to end this dilemma, and others doubt martial law as well, although, its probability is low. The relations with India, in such state, are beginning to destabilize as well.

All of us together make South Asia 

Taking a broader vision, I want to see Pakistan soon to be out of it without any bloodshed and with negotiations on table. After we get out of this situation, I want to see it contributing to South Asia though trade and by signing many development projects. I think, we don't stand nothing as compared to European nations but we need heck of development too. After 20 years, I want to see Pakistan in a stable democratic system where justice prevails and no one sleeps hungry. However, that extends to the general South Asia as well. Taking in, Bangladesh is struggling with poverty too. Other than that, Afghanistan holds a key position in making us achieve stability within. What I deduce overall is that, without peace there is not going to be a single leap forward that contributes to prosperity of any nation. Be it peace within the nation or peace within South Asia, we all need to work out on our relations. Unity is strength and I hope that someday we travel so much forward in our peace agendas that we don't have issues like travel visas. I hope of the day when border skirmishes between Pakistan-India are almost zero, where we invite each other on borders and not kill. I dream of the day when we give education the power to decide our futures and not guns. And while I dream and hope all of it, I take this responsibility of being a individual who works on her own self to attain the most I could for the betterment of my Pakistan and for the betterment of South Asia. We all shall overcome hugely, someday!

Sehr Nisar 

Dosti aur Azaadi!

Dear Nidhi Apa,

If I say simple words like 'Thank you so much Apa', it won't even be enough to express my gratefulness to you. It's been a long time that I have not fully expressed my views on this blog the way you have, but all the conversations and voice notes are so imprinted in my heart that I can almost tell it like a story tale to anyone. It was extremely essential to at least give a try in replying to all your lovely blog posts and your friendship story lastly, that is and are really being admired by everyone. So, this is a post dedicated to our being from peace-partners to the fast-friends. 

I believe, it was substantial for us to meet and know each other this way and it was written way before we even got birth. My Dad is a very disciplined man and he whole his life has taught me to be one, but after him if someone has inspired me to be one is you. There are hundreds of reasons as to why we had to meet and probably, this to me is one of the very important reasons as well. All these months, one of my extraordinary observations was that you are a very dedicated person. A friend, who has changed my life to a greater extent and I merely am not saying it, your inspiration keeps moving with me in this life like a glacier melting and flowing into water. The way you took this project from the beginning up til now, I believe no one could do it. Your enthusiasm regarding this project has moved me very much which ultimately has led me to see all the dreams from your golden perspective and to hope like the way you do, from the core of your heart. 

We make this world complete! 

India and Pakistan partitioned on 14th August 1947. It merely if recalled is not just the date, month or year. It contains whole of the past, present and future. Over a million of 'our' people died in this process of migration that is called as one of the biggest migrations in history. However, in this process, we as once a one nation, now became two. What changed? Life? Homes? Streets? Cities? Ancestors? Religion? Conflict? 

If someone asks this, no, nothing changed. Actually the mass displacement that aimed to end conflicts resulted in a bigger and forever conflict. The partition did not stop the blood that trickles from the chests of our beloved soldiers, it worsened. What was the point if the hatred never transformed into love? Everyone moved on, but, never forgetting and forgiving each other. And if many of us did, our governments used the blood of our beloved for their own profits and are using it till date. How unfortunate? However, what needs to be considered is that even after such extreme situations, our destinies worked as miracles. Once living in a one country (Our ancestors) , how thrilling this thought is Apa, we once again got together. I thank the God, for this miracle and for this asha.

I know today we are struggling to bring peace but the thing that brings happiness is the mere thought that at least, at least we are giving it a try. I don't know what senior analysts and politicians have to say on this, or probably I just want to ignore whatever theories they want to convey regarding our relations and it is just for the better prospects that both countries can bring, It is for the Peace that fills within me and clears the thought that Ignorance is bliss, indeed. I also know that today we are a part of this project, tomorrow we won't be but this is not it and it should never be it. Small steps make big differences. Leaving behind all the sane thoughts and technicalities as the countries' officials see, I want to confess that I indeed don't believe in measurements of each inch in these relations. The measurements of the sort that if Mr Modi takes his hand forward to this particular centimeters, Mr Sharif will also move his hand out to the same measurement. This could be the steps of diplomacy but, to me it is insane. This is the sheer reason why the friendship between us has grown quite tremendously, that we don't exercise diplomacy. We give and take love and it won't be wrong to say that after 67 years of independence we as individuals have learnt to share peace because I believe we still complete each other like the puzzle pieces that makes this picture of world clear and complete.
I am hugely grateful to you, Apa. 

Sending love

Sehr Nisar

The dawn of a special friendship

Published at Friendships Across Borders: Aao Dosti Karein - A forum that encourages and nurtures cross-border friendships.

Nidhi Shendurnikar Tere from Vadodara, India, writes about her friendship with Sehr Nisar who is from Larkana and currently studies in Lahore, Pakistan

It was in February 2014, when an email from Kirthi Jayakumar at The Red Elephant Foundation, Chennai delighted me to no end. It announced my selection to the Building Peace Project (2014-15), a yearlong peace initiative between Indians and Pakistanis dedicated to connecting young people on both sides of the border through new media. Ever since I had started working for my doctoral thesis on India-Pakistan conflict and the media’s role, I had been in touch with many people from across the border, and had experienced the warmth and generosity of cross-border friendships. However, I longed for sustained interactions with someone who could introduce me to the Pakistan I had never learnt of before. I wished to go beyond an academic and intellectual pursuit of the domain in which I was working, and experience the fruits of friendship with a person who shared my belief in peace. I was delighted when Kirthi told me that my partner in the peace project would be Sehr Nisar, and we would be engaged in the project as peacebuilders.

Since the beginning of the project, Sehr, who is a student at the Lahore University of Management Sciences (LUMS) has carved a special place in my life. There is not a single day when she is not fondly remembered. Though we have not met each other, our continued association for the project, our conversations on Facebook, and the video chatting sessions on Skype have become so integral to my life that it is difficult to conceive of anything but a mutual feeling of lifelong friendship between the two of us. Our initial interactions started off as individuals belonging to two hostile nations aiming to sow the seeds of peace. The day we formally began interacting for the project, Sehr told me that she would like to address me as ‘Apa’ (sister). I readily and happily agreed as I have often been referred to as ‘Didi’, ‘Tai’, ‘Ben’ (in other Indian languages, namely Hindi, Marathi and Gujarati) but never as ‘Apa’. I felt as if this term was coined specially for me and, ever since, I have been Sehr’s ‘Nidhi Apa’.

Sehr, whose name literally means ‘dawn’, has brought to my life a new meaning of friendship and warmth. Through our conversations, we have endlessly discussed the nature of hostile relations between our countries, the prospects for peace, our individual desires, and the different ways in which we can together contribute to building a peaceful narrative amidst hostility, conflict and animosity. Though virtually, we have begun to share our lives with each other – as a result of which, both of us have started realising that friendships are not hostage to borders. Our conversations have faced hiccups due to technological issues, time and study commitments; however, we have made it a point not to miss updating each other about our views on issues concerning both India and Pakistan. This exchange of views has shaped up into a meaningful conversation around issues related to peace and conflict, documented in our peacebuilding blog, nurtured during this period. We make it a point to address issues that are relevant, and those that can spark a debate in order to take this peace project further.

There are times when I have acutely felt the need to transform this virtual friendship into an offline one, and I wish I am able to do so one day. While celebrating festivals at home, watching Pakistani dramas on Zee Zindagi channel, and when I saw the movie ‘Filmistaan’, I wished Sehr and I could have been together, celebrating our friendship, demonstrating to the world how two people together can cross national barriers and be the best of friends. Such is the depth of our bond that anything new I encounter, anything I write, or things as simple as watching a movie, going out for dinner – I rush to send a voice note to Sehr, eager to let her know how important she has become to my life!

In our conversations on India and Pakistan, we have realised that we need not be similar for our friendship to blossom. We only need to hear each other out. It is on this principle that we have based our interactions. I always am keen to listen to what Sehr has to say about Pakistan, its beautiful landscape, her family, her university, and her inclinations for the future. I have loved and admired her marvellous artistic skills, the maturity she reflects at such young age, and the patience she demonstrates while listening to something which may be totally contradictory to her point of view.

At the same time, her keen interest in knowing about India has amazed me, and it is through her that I am actually getting to know my country better. Our chain of exchanges on issues related to education, politics, democracy, religion has made me rethink an array of complex issues. I know I can talk my heart out to Sehr, and she won’t mind even if she disagrees with what I say. She will still hear me out patiently, and address my unending queries about Pakistan.

Friends forever

She has introduced me to the historical and cultural heritage of her country – to a Pakistan I was unaware of earlier. I long to visit Larkana, her home town; at the same time, have her in Baroda where I reside. I would love to watch a Bollywood movie with her, treat her to home-made Gujarati delicacies and, at the same time, not carry the burden of being friends with a supposed ‘enemy’. It is the Building Peace Project that got us together, and it is our shared commitment to peace on which our friendship will chart its future course. As Sehr says, “I love what you love!” This, I believe, is just the beginning of an everlasting friendship, as we continue to unfold a new leaf with each passing day in our exciting peace journey.  

Cross-border friendships: A Dreamer’s Recipe for Peace

Chintan Girish Modi is a young Mumbai based peacebuilder striving for friendly relations between India and Pakistan Nidhi Shendurnikar Tere spoke to him about Friendships Across Borders: Aao Dosti Karein, his initiative to transform the hostility between the two countries by building on the power of cross-border friendships through social media, supported by on-the-ground interactions and workshops with schools and colleges.

Chintan Girish Modi

What inspired you to be a peacebuilder? Any reasons for specifically choosing to work on India-Pakistan issues?

I am not sure if there is a special category of person called ‘peacebuilder’. I feel personally perturbed by the animosity that India and Pakistan have built towards each other for decades, and I want this to change. People in both countries have many stereotypes about each other, thanks to how we learn about the other side from history books, and more so from the media. Politicians, of course, know how to whip up nationalist sentiments at the drop of a hat, and spread hate. This makes me deeply upset because the focus is deepening divides instead of celebrating our shared heritage and interconnectedness. Sitting and wishing for a transformation will yield no results if I don’t do something. This belief is what led to my getting involved in India-Pakistan exchanges aimed at improving relations between the two countries through people-to-people contact. I must be honest and say that I have done very little but I am doing what I can.

How did you begin your journey into peacebuilding?

I used to work with the Kabir Project at the Srishti School of Art, Design and Technology in Bangalore. It is led by Shabnam Virmani, a documentary filmmaker and dear friend of mine, who turned to the poetry of Kabir after the violence and insanity unleashed in Gujarat in 2002. Of all her films, the one that affected me most was ‘Had-Anhad’ (Bounded-Boundless). It had a big impact on me, particularly the Pakistan sequences in the film. The ceremony at Wagah seemed absurd. The people on the other side seemed so similar to the ones on this side. Something felt utterly strange. I felt a deep sorrow but at that point of time I didn’t know that I too could do something. This experience stayed at the back of my mind. I joined the Kabir Project to look after the educational outreach aspect of their work. It was a rich and meaningful experience, soaking in the poetry of Kabir, Bulleh Shah and Mira, learning from them, and sharing that with children and teachers through workshops and interactions.

After that, I moved back to Mumbai. In 2012, while working with Shishuvan School in Mumbai, I had the opportunity to visit Pakistan as part of Exchange for Change, a project run jointly by the Citizens Archive of Pakistan and a Delhi-based organization Routes 2 Roots. After that, I have participated in other peacebuilding initiatives, and also been to Pakistan twice, for the Children’s Literature Festival in Lahore in 2013, and the one in Islamabad in 2014.

Any hiccups through this journey?

Oh yes! I have come across people who think that being Indian is synonymous with being anti-Pakistan. I used to get annoyed earlier but I realized that I needed to stay calm in order to continue doing my work. Prejudices will not disappear overnight. Those who are hurting will not heal in a jiffy. In order to do peacebuilding work, one has to prepare oneself to listen to all sorts of perspectives, yet stay calm. It’s not easy. Not at all. One of my school mates once commented on my Facebook page, stating that I should give up my Indian citizenship if I love Pakistanis so much. It is a rather simplistic understanding you, see. It is possible to love Indians and Pakistanis, and Afghans, and Americans, and Tibetans, and Palestinians. Why should love and friendship be restricted only to people who share our nationality? In fact, I prefer using words like ‘friendship’ and ‘love’ over ‘peace’. Friendship sounds like something you and I can do. Peace somehow sounds distant, something that is decided by people who sign treaties and agreements.

What keeps you going in the face of these hiccups?

Hope. And people who share my hope and dreams.

Tell us about your collaborations and friendships through this journey.

I have many dear friends in Pakistan, and there are some wonderful anecdotes to share. However, given the constraints of space, I’m going to mention only the ones I’ve also collaborated with on specific programmes. Anam Zakaria and Haroon Khalid in Islamabad are the ones who come to mind immediately. I met them thanks to the Exchange for Change project I mentioned earlier. Since then, we’ve done a lot of stuff together – whether it was participating with them at WISCOMP’s Conflict Transformation Workshop in Delhi, or working with Haroon at the Hri Institute for Southasian Research and Exchange, or being fellow panelists at a discussion on peace education in Islamabad. They are two of my dearest friends, and I make it a point to meet them every time I visit Pakistan.

Then there’s Shiraz Hassan, my journalist friend from Rawalpindi, who is one of the nicest people I know. He speaks little but is an amazingly warm-hearted being who I remember most for bike rides, walks through bazaars, and his unique sense of humour. Aman Ki Asha gave us the opportunity to participate in the ‘Conversations’ series, an exchange of letters over six weeks, and these got published in The News. We discussed art, history, music, literature, politics, our work, our everyday lives, the similarities and shared cultural heritage. I eventually met Shiraz in person on my second trip to Pakistan.

I’d also like to tell you about my friend Sheharyar Rizwan who lives in Lahore. He’s a journalist with Dawn, and we have been paired for this year-long programme called the Building Peace Project. We are one of ten such India-Pakistan pairs who write collaborative blogs, stay in touch through social media, and participate in online discussions around prescribed readings. I am so grateful to have discovered Sheharyar. He lives so far away but I know if I have to reach out for help, I can do that without a moment’s doubt. You see what I mean? One feels personally invested in friendships. ‘Peace’ just seems so out there.

Tell us something about Friendships Across Borders: Aao Dosti Karein.

Actually, the idea is quite simple. In India, there’s so much bad news about Pakistan that it is almost impossible for a large number of people to even imagine that they could be friends with someone across the border. Similarly, in Pakistan, there are people who promote hostility towards India. I felt like there’s only so much that conferences and seminars can do. People-to-people contact is where the real stuff of peacebuilding seems to lie. I thought it would be a good idea to share stories of cross-border friendships, so I started looking for these. I got Pakistanis to write about their friends in India, and Indians to write about their friends in Pakistanis. These stories are about how they first met each other, what this friendship means to them in the context of the hostile relations between our countries, how their perceptions about the other side have changed because of this friendship, etc.

When I think of friendship, I think of warmth and caring, of opening up one’s heart to listen and be there. See, you can be friends with people of another nationality. When you find common ground over so many other things, nationality becomes just one of your many attributes. Who you are is not just your citizenship, or the country you were born into. I also visit schools and colleges, on invitation, to talk about these ideas with young people, sometimes using art, theatre and films.

What are your views on young people and their role in peace-building?

Young people living in India and Pakistan, and in the South Asian diaspora, have a very important role to play. Our countries have been in conflict for too long, and our people, societies and economies have suffered a great deal. Though a large number of young people have grown up listening to stories of Partition because their families were personally affected, many of them want to establish friendly relations with people across the border. People want the healing to happen. The pain is too much to bear. Despite the stereotypes people in both countries have about each other, many Pakistanis would love to travel to India, meet their friends and family here, visit their religious shrines, study here, or even just travel around. Similarly, several Indians would like to go to Pakistan, either to see the homes of their ancestors who migrated, or because they have friends they’ve met on Facebook, or have studied with in the US, Europe, or elsewhere, or just for tourism. It’s such a tragedy that we don’t even have enough exchange programmes for young people in both countries. Imagine Indians and Pakistanis studying together, or working at the same place. Such amazing opportunities to learn about each other, and move past our legacy of suspicion!

Chintan interacting with students on peace building 

How has the new media contributed to peacebuilding?

Oh yes! Definitely! It’s thanks to Facebook and Twitter that thousands of young Indians and Pakistanis have got the opportunity to interact with each other without the rigmarole of applying for a visa and, if they are lucky, getting one. These are rich conversations. Young people are not talking only about India and Pakistan. They are talking about combating gender-based violence, improving education, protesting against human rights abuses, making music, conserving heritage, or even just movies and television shows they like watching. These conversations show us how shallow our stereotypes are, how urgently we need to embrace each other, say sorry, and commit ourselves to each other’s well-being. 

Des mera rangrez ye babu ...

This is not a movie review. It was not meant to be one. On Wednesday, 2nd April students from The Dept. of Political Science got together to watch Aamir Khan's critically acclaimed movie Peepli Live (2010) as a part of the activities conducted in The Open Society - a student forum of the department. The Open Society as the name suggests is an initiative to harbour open and free discussions on relevant socio-political issues. The forum is meant to engage students into meaningful discussions on issues of current importance, help them put forth their own perspectives and appreciate those of others. 

Peepli Live is an engaging take on the despicable conditions suffered by farmers in rural India. It would not be fair at this point to time to give out the story details, but a gist of the film would be helpful. The film narrates the trials and tribulations of Natha and his elder brother (both farmers in central India) and their desperate situation. In dire need of money, since they have a bank loan to repay, which otherwise would lead to mortgaging of their land, Natha and his 'bhaiya' come to know of a government scheme that offers a lakh rupees to farmers who have suicide. In desperate need of money (in order to save their family), Natha decides to go ahead and announce his plans about suicide. The local stringer of a newspaper catches on to this bit of news doing the rounds of the village and suddenly Natha's intention of 'live suicide' catches the attention of an entire nation through a media and political circus in his village. What follows is a satire about the conditions of Natha and his family and their exploitation by both the state and the media for altogether different purposes. 

What the movie very tellingly conveyed was the poor situation of farmers in India and the utter neglect of the state towards their conditions. Whenever elections are around the corner, we see political representatives making tall claims of schemes committed to farmer welfare. But once in power, all promises towards the farmer are forgotten and he/she is left to fend for himself/herself. In the last decade in Indian, scores of farmers have committed suicide owing to lack of state help, extreme conditions of drought and lack of any kind of financial assistance. The movie is a clever satire on such subtle issues. More number of suicides have been committed by farmers of the Vidarbha region in Maharashtra and I recall watching a Marathi movie on the same theme, a serious one albeit - Gabhricha Paus (2009).

After the movie we engaged in a discussion of sorts trying to think over the various issues that the movie tried to highlight. I for that matter kept noting down terms like 'politics of poverty', 'politics of suicide', 'politics of desperation'. These issues struck me when I saw the movie for the first time around (this was a second viewing). The use of satire as a tool in cinema was also an interesting point to note since movie makers have attempted to convey their take on serious issues such as poverty, education, communalism, corruption etc through the use of humour. I believe sometimes it becomes imperative to use humour and lightheartedness to comment on serious issues and raise awareness about them. But as Aparna, one of our students pointed out - not everybody is comfortable with the use of satire and in the end satire may end up reinforcing the status quo or induce some kind of arm-chair activism and niceties of ideology - where all we gloat about is taking and discussing the state of affairs in the cosy comfort zones that we are so used to. She also pointed out to the need for discussing more about solutions than about problems - since we are all aware of the problems that the country faces - but what is the solution that should be worked out ought to be a point of discussion.

I also repeatedly kept pondering upon the media's role. Once a media student, today I stand completely disillusioned about the media's role in the society. What the movie very prominently reflected upon was the media-state nexus, a collusion between two powerful entities in the society for two very different purposes - the state trying to save its skin by indulging in dirty politics over a farmer's bid to suicide by offering him completely irrelevant policy options (which clearly shows how poorly informed and shaped our policies are!) and the media using the same incident to encash on a tragedy to be for its own commercial motives. The depiction of the real media scenario in the movie turned out to be truly hilarious. One of our students Jay at the end of the movie wondered if the media was that bad. May be as an audience what we tend to do is either repose our complete faith in the media and idolize it or show our utter contempt and disregard for it. These extremities are where the problem lies. What I also found was an utter contempt on part of both the state and the media for the poor of the country. The farmer is actually reduced to a butt of jokes - a helpless creature being manipulated at the hands of both agencies - expecting some kind of assistance - but getting none. 

The movie centered around a tragedy - namely Natha's declaration of suicide - and the political and media circus that follows. Each and everyone, be it the chief minister, the opposition leader, the agriculture minister, the local politician wanted to encash the tragedy for their own benefit. For them it ceased to be a tragedy and turned out to be an opportunity to gain brownie points over the other. Surprisingly, in the whole process Natha, the central character is made a scapegoat and we ended up sympathizing with him. We felt he does not deserve death, he is being forced into it, being made an unnecessary martyr - one who sacrifices for the sake of selfish interests of those in power - or rather one who is made to sacrifice. Our discussion then further moved to the commodification of death - of how in present times death which is meant to be tragic can turn into a celebration of sorts if it benefits those in power and those in command and control of resources. Aparna pointed out that it all boils down to power - for vested interest make people in power position behave the way they do. During the course of the discussion, one of the students Imtiyaz pointed out to the lack of policy planning as well as the lack of effective policy implementation in the country. It was as if policies are churned out for the poor and they have no choice or say in the same. Policies are merely thrust upon them irrespective of any rationality or need for the same. In what sense will these policies benefit them is a question that should concern the political and bureaucratic class of the country. In a hilarious scene in the movie whereas Natha is in need of money to save his land/house he is offered a hand pump under a scheme named after a prominent leader. Later on, the chief minister of the state instructs his officials to devise a new policy in order to curb criticism from media and opposition parties. Towards the end of the movie we see Natha being honored by the way of a 'Natha card' being issued in his name - meant to be given to those farmers who intend to commit suicide!!! Though it would not be fair to reveal the movie's end here - what happens to Natha's family in the end is a reiteration of the abject state of policy planning and implementation in the country.

Towards the end of the discussion, Himmat brought out to relevant pointers - the reality of crony capitalism (how the state and the corporates work in tandem and the impact of globalization on the rural masses). He being from Haryana cited examples of farmers in his own village who became rich overnight as they got huge money by selling their land - but have now turned to anti-social ways of earning money since they squandered money recklessly once it was in their hands. What he also found problematic in the movie was the portrayal of the politician-bureaucrat relationship in which the politician bosses over the bureaucrat and the former has to abide by his diktats. He said that real scenario in India was quite the opposite with the bureaucracy wielding more power. 

At the end we came to the question of women - there were three distinct personalities of women depicted in the movie. First Natha's mother - bedridden but always cribbing about her daughter-in-law, the second being Natha's wife who though a rural woman seems to be in total control of the house - with a power to even abuse her husband and brother-in-law for messing the entire situation. The third woman in the story is Nandita, a TV news reporter - seemingly empowered and independent to take her own decisions but at the mercy of her editor. We were stuck with the question of who was the most empowered of the three and there was no concluding answer for the same since all of us had different answers - we decided to leave it at that and not reach to any pointed conclusion. Conclusion and definiteness were certainly not what we were looking for! 

In the end I still stayed stuck to the image of the farmer who keeps lingering onto the background - his lean and frail frame reminding us of the fact that there are many Nathas' in this country and Peepli Live was about just one of them!

Peace is the Superman

We see how powerful the word Peace is that only taking its name could bring infinite number of conflict from hither and thither. It is quite astounding to note that being 'Peace', it still could bring so much of the thunder? This is one thing which always provoked me. I was quite young, in about 6th grade that my mind had started this battle of peace and conflict with itself and it is quite interesting to know what was it that made it strive so much. It was Extremism that forced me to think. My story of why and how I turned up to this project is not shallow. So, continuing to talk about extremism, yes, it was religious extremism that pushed me here where I am. This war with peace started quite earlier in my mind and it was because of watching innocent people die everyday in my country. I still remember having this strong faith that we could stop Taliban of killing citizens of my country by negotiating because Peace lies in talking. It is important to note here that I didn't see any politician saying that we want talks and that is why this thought rooted in me but it was the result of continuous bloodshed. Since then, I always wanted to talk. I have always believed in Peace because I knew that the terrorism that just started was because of merely the mindset. Those people attacked and committed suicide because of mindset which grew so strong that it is still thriving. And this particular reason that if war can become this strong mindset then we have to make peace our mindset to counter-attack.

The idea was not complicated. It was that if they could kill, we could love. Peace can only pop in if we started loving each other because the complexity lies in just one idea that everybody can talk about bringing peace in the world but nobody can establish peace within themselves and to me, we instantly bring peace to this world when we intend to bring it within ourselves. It is this simple. However, we are a mess. Our thoughts are a mess, our intentions are mess and so are our deeds. There is no peace therefore. It is quite obvious to consider then that we are disabled to bring peace when everything is messy. We are disabled to dialogue about Peace. So, when I was struggling with this mess within myself I decided to take a step ahead. Maintain and talk. The simple idea of bringing peace within borders generated goosebumps and I couldn't help myself. Pakistan and India, even after 65 years of their separation can't forget their differences. Differences? This particular reason induced opposite analysis and that was that this project was designed in such a way to appreciate the similarities in people,culture and history. It was to identify those parts of our war which highlight peace and it was simply to meet our identicals from other Border. Here, it is substantial to regard that even twins from same mother are different in nature then how can two countries be akin in nature but victory is when both of them love and live together in harmony and not much but it is about the same regarding two neighboring countries as well. This is why I am in this Project with my Indian Partner Nidhi Shendurnikar which is purely because only Peace is the Superman.
So, stay tuned to peace.