What Pakistan meant to me … What it means now

What Pakistan meant to me … What it means now

Nidhi Shendurnikar Tere on the transformation that happened through research

As a nationalist, patriotic and proud Indian; Pakistan hardly figured in my list of concerns a few years ago. I neither despised it, nor was curious about it. The only time I thought about Pakistan was during an India-Pakistan confrontation on the cricket field. I rooted for the Indian cricket team, prayed for its victory (even paid visits to the nearby temple) and suffered dejection in the case of an Indian loss against Pakistan. To me, at that point of time, nothing was more humiliating than India losing in a cricket match against Pakistan (a victory of course meant jubilation!). Having thought of Pakistan as an arch enemy, cricket was nothing less than war and losing to Pakistan unacceptable to me and others of my age. The only other reference to Pakistan was through news about bomb blasts and terror attacks in India which left me perplexed as I began associating Pakistan with terrorism, chaos, anarchy and everything that was anti-India. Too naïve to explore anything beyond the mainstream discourse, my idea of Pakistan remained limited and heavily skewed.

Come 2011 and it changed. The change though was a gradual process even without my knowing. I was set for a PhD in Political Science and was mulling over my topic of research. Post many brainstorming sessions with my to be supervisor, we decided to work on an issue related to South Asia (which is also his area of specialization). This is how I started working on India-Pakistan relations and the Media’s role. Initially, though I remained skeptical about the entire project. Researching on India-Pakistan was not easy, it was considered to be controversial and even my parents were left wondering about my choice of topic. To this day, a mention of India-Pakistan manages to raise eyebrows; some question the utility of carrying out such a research, some advise caution, some consider me brave, some express outright displeasure and some others remain unperturbed.

Soon enough the nitty gritties of the research process required me to undertake a thorough study of the confrontational past of the relationship. I also realized that without interacting with Pakistanis my research could turn out to be one-sided and of no consequence. My quest for the archives of Pakistani newspapers took me to Delhi and Chandigarh and I began looking for Pakistani people who could help me in the process. I first chanced upon Rehman Ilyas (Founder - Romancing the Border), interacted with him and ended up contributing a piece on Indo-Pak friendship as a testimonial ('Let us be friends who respect each other's differences’, 2012). Not aware that this was the beginning of a transformative journey, I befriended many Pakistanis on Facebook and networked with them. This opened a new window frame for me. The interactions swelled, friendships developed and these positively affected my attitudes and perceptions of Pakistan. I realized there was much more to Pakistan – a side undiscovered and ignored by the popular political and media discourse in my country.

The Pakistan that I had not known was introduced to me to by my Pakistani friends. A Pakistan with breath-taking natural landscapes, a Pakistan where people lived with dreams and aspirations similar to that of Indians, a Pakistan with striking resemblances in culture, food, festivals, music; a Pakistan whose young citizens valued education, progress, development as much as Indians do; a Pakistan where citizens condemned violence, terrorism as much as Indians did and a Pakistan that did not hate India but looked up to the values upholded by Indian democracy and secularism. It was indeed a different Pakistan that I discovered through a string of interactions where I found Pakistanis to be warm, caring, reciprocative and more than willing to discuss various issues related to my research. As I began writing more and more on Indo-Pak issues, I discovered many peace-building groups on social media (Aman ki Asha, Aaghaz-e-Dosti, Romancing the Border, Friendships Across Borders: Aao Dosti Karein) and in the beginning of this year got selected for a yearlong Peace building initiative (Building Peace Project 2014-15 by The Red Elephant Foundation).

Much has changed in the span of three and a half years of this research – a deep intellectual engagement with people from across the border made this possible. So far I had heard tales of friendships narrated by my teachers with friends in Pakistan. Now I have my own stories to tell. A perspective that was amiss earlier was gifted to me through the process of research. This year may witness the culmination of my research (hopefully); however the process, the journey and the friendships will stay on forever. I have always believed in the transformative and healing power of research – that as a researcher one has to successfully imbibe within oneself.  The short term goal of engaging in a research project is to derive conclusions by seeking answers to certain questions; the long term goal however is to offer a more holistic and comprehensive perspective. A life changing vision is what this research has left me with.  At this point of time, it feels difficult to describe and explain what I encountered within the boundaries of terms like ‘methods’, ‘hypothesis’, ‘conclusions’. To confine it within the boundary of a 250 page thesis is certainly a task that I feel less prepared for. Can friendships be ever bounded into page limits, chapters and conclusions? Today, I strongly believe and wish to reinforce that I cannot let love for my own nation be construed, limited and narrowly bracketed into hatred and antagonism for the ‘other’. It is research that brought me to peace-building and I hope to stay ingrained in it forever.

The author is a Political Science doctoral candidate at The Maharaja Sayajirao University of Baroda, Gujarat, and a research fellow of the University Grants Commission working on India-Pakistan Conflict Mediation and Role of Media. She firmly believes in and endorses the power of research to positively transform hardened, stereotypical and nationalistic attitudes.